Ask Amy: Nice Guys May Not Be Compatible

Dear Amy: I am dating a man and he is 7 months old. he is absolutely amazing. We're even talking about marriage, except we disagree about politics. This became even clearer in the recent U.S. Supreme Court decision in the Dobbs case.

We have decided to adopt the rule ``we have different views, but we stand''.

Yesterday I hesitantly asked, "Are you vaccinated against COVID?"

I was afraid to hear his answer.

I have lupus and take several immunosuppressants, so it's entirely my fault for not having this conversation early in the relationship.

The latest variant of COVID is so contagious that I am very concerned that he might contract the virus.

When I asked him if he would be vaccinated, he said no and gave me a long list of political reasons.

How can I explain how important this is to my health?

From a previous marriage he has five children (all under the age of 18).

I am already worried about leaving my children too soon if the worst happens due to health problems.

Should I abandon the relationship that ultimately makes me happy? Should it end with political disagreements?

– Vulnerability

Dear Vulnerability: You think this issue is about politics, but you think lupus and her five holding a child

You are already worried about your life being shortened by an autoimmune disease.

So this is not about politics. This is about science, safety and health.

This man's vaccination may benefit him, his colleagues, neighbors and family. He has already decided that he doesn't want to do it.

Of course he won't be vaccinated for you.

If he cares about your health, he will do everything to protect your health.

My question is: Why don't you care more about your health?

You have a serious chronic illness. You are medically vulnerable.

You have five children of hers who need you.

Yes. As you point out, this is up to you. Without inquiring about a potential partner's vaccination status before meeting, it is difficult to understand how or why to start a new relationship during a global pandemic.

It's an unfortunate situation. but your man has already made a choice. he's fine with that

Now it's your turn.

Dear Amy: "Charlotte" has been with her for 35 years.

Nine years ago, her husband died and we decided to rent an apartment together.

It was great at first, but slowly but surely she began to criticize and correct me, especially in front of my children and friends. .

I told her this feeling many times, but she said I was a child and overreacting.

How can I stop her? This affected our friendship and made it unbearable to be around her in social settings.

She even did this in front of my clients.

At the beginning of the tax season, we both work in the same office. I then moved to another office in January, which is a relief.

Is this a sign of aging or a bully?

– Disgusted

Disgusted: This behavior may be a sign of aging. If you asked "Charlotte" not to disrespect or correct you and her girlfriend, then yes. I continue to do so.

But aside from telling her how this makes you feel, you actually reported that you asked her to stop doing it. No.

Maybe it's time for you two to get to know each other seriously.

You are talking about a meeting around the kitchen table to review your living arrangements and see if they are still viable.

Charlotte keeps criticizing you. This may indicate that she is unhappy about being your roommate. You are clearly unhappy.

If you decide to continue as her roommate, you should tell Charlotte that she expects from now on that she will not criticize you in front of others.

Dear Amy: In response to the "loving but sad sister" where the brother left the factual details in his father's obituary - I wrote and published her own

As a librarian, I have responded to many requests for newspaper obituaries. These death notices last forever, so she needs to fix her records.

– Retired Librarian

Dear Librarian: Great advice.