It took 36-year-old Dan, who works in the financial industry, nearly two years to get over his frustration withdating apps
He used Bumble and Tinderintermittently, without much success. Forget weekdays. Just a swipe right on the weekend could decide 10 or so matches. If you're lucky, it might lead to a date.
"I downloaded the app and immediately deleted it," he said. "It was so boring trying to be unique, trying to be smart. I don't think my personality would run into them," he said. "I'm not very good at telling jokes. It was so frustrating."
Dan knew other men who were lucky all over the world, so he gave him the idea. . Why not check out the contest to see what he can learn about the behavior of more successful men.
"I have a friend who doesn't have a lot of personality, but even he seemed more successful," Dunn said. “I also wanted to see the profiles of other members.”
Single man is dating him online. Some people are. Not only to beat the competition, but also to experience life on the other side.
Blaine He Anderson, a heterosexual dating coach in Austin, Texas, said: "I thought it was unusual, but recently another guy said the same thing on Instagram. I was like, 'This is starting to feel like a pattern.'"
One day last week, Anderson polled her followers on Instagram to find out who did this, and more than 250 responded positively.
“Women get a lot of matches regardless of what their profile looks like. Even potential men don't get many matches," she said.
Bumble did not respond to a request for a phone number, and Tinder said the company does not share match data externally. The man in this article did not give his full name because all companies have strict policies against catfish fishing.
But anecdotally, men are much less likely to be matched on dating apps than women.
One date, Jeremy Cryer,recently shared his plight on Tik Tok.
"You know we have to wait weeks to like, let alone someone we're interested in," he said.
By contrast, his female colleague had spoken to 39 people after using a dating app for three days, Cryer told followers. rice field.
Dan discovered this to be true about six months ago when he posted a new profile on Tinder — this time as a woman. "I got a lot more matches," he says, adding that a typical weekend would get him, more specifically his female persona, 50-plus potential suitors at a time. estimated to be possible.
For the experiment, he used the name and photo of his ex-girlfriend — "She lives in another country, so she'll never know," he said. said — and started swiping. Examining other people's pictures and prompts made him pay attention to what they were doing right and what he was doing wrong.
Dan, who lives in the English spa and horse racing town of Cheltenham, quickly began to wonder if many of his own problems had anything to do with branding. One thing his competitors had that he didn't was better pictures.
"My photos tend to be selfies," he said. "They had candid pictures of themselves in various activities."
He seemed to put more thought into writing his profile.
Dan's overall summary. he was lazy
"People took their time with this," he said. "I realized that if you want your app to do better, so should I."
Some men have specific goals when creating a profile as a woman.
His 28-year-old man, who lives in New York City and works on social media, told the Post that he began posting on Hinge as a woman four months ago. He specifically wanted to see which profiles made it into the male version of Spotlight his section of the app showcasing the hottest and most popular candidates.
Until then, he had regular matches, but was unsure if they were the best women.
"I was doing well, but I wanted to see if there was anything I could do better," he said. "I wanted to make the most of my profile."
Browsing his Instagram, he found a photo of a woman who lived on the other side of the country and sent him a fake profile. used for His point was specific.
"I found that most men were at least 5 feet 10 inches and decent looking," he said. "They also have different pictures showing some hobbies. I think one of the prompts is usually lighthearted and kinda funny."
He and his female alter-ego is currently taking a break from Hinge, but plans to use this feedback to create a new profile once he returns to Swipe as himself.
"Send him a picture of yourself doing something cool, like jet skiing in a tropical place or vacationing in front of a famous Instagrammer's place. I think we should take one," he said.
Competitor Pickup Some users are playing his game online for "Tootsie" to eavesdrop on his lines.
His 30-year-old Casey, an accountant in western New York, wanted to know what messages men send to women.
"A lot of them were silly like, 'Hey, hey, you're beautiful,' but some of them were really nice, like replying to something on their profile.
Casey, like the other men interviewed for this article, did not actually respond to anyone, thus justifying his actions as ethical. did.
"It didn't make me sick," he said. "I didn't mean to message anyone back or make it any more serious."
App administrators should not allow these types of experiments.
Her 22-year-old Harry, fresh out of college and living in Birmingham, England, was kicked out of Tinder within 20 minutes after creating a fake profile as a woman. .
"I started getting more likes before my profile was finished," he said. "People probably reported it because it could have been considered too good." I understand partially.
"In today's world, an attractive woman can choose from thousands of men in a single weekend." 136} Blaine Anderson, Dating Coach
"Smart people care about what other people are like."
After all, she said:
But she worries that they will become even more frustrated away from the exercise. They may feel exhilarated at having so many connections as women, but when they return to the app as themselves, they are still stuck.
"increases their suspicion of dating apps," she said."And that's not the mindset you need to be successful in online dating."
This seems to be the case with Dan. Dan was hesitant to put a lot of energy into apps because he already had one demanding full-time job. Ultimately, Dan may have learned a lot about what he was doing wrong, but in the end, he decided that an app like Tinder wasn't the right platform for him for now. Did.
"Why are you spending so much time swiping?" he said. It's pointless, really."