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Don’t Worry, Just Cook: A mother-daughter lesson in cooking without the stress

Author Bonnie Stern partnered up with her daughter, Anna Rupert, to write her first cookbook in more than a decade

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Don't Worry, Just Cook by Bonnie Stern and Anna Rupert
Food writer and cookbook author Bonnie Stern, left, wrote her latest cookbook, Don't Worry, Just Cook, with her daughter, Anna Rupert. Photo by Tyler Anderson

Our cookbook of the week is Don’t Worry, Just Cook by Bonnie Stern and Anna Rupert. To try a recipe from the book, check out: chirshi (Tunisian and Libyan pumpkin spread), sheet pan roasted cherry tomatoes with herbs and garlic, and roasted turnips with za’atar and labneh.

Before the launch of their mother-daughter cookbook on Sept. 20, Anna Rupert posted a video tribute to her mom, Bonnie Stern. For many Canadians, Stern needs no introduction. But Rupert realized that as much as the food writer and cookbook author has accomplished in her five-decade-long career, some home cooks might benefit from a primer.

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“There are obviously Bonnie fans, who know about Bonnie Stern. And then there is an enormous, enormous new generation of people who (get) most of their recipes from TikTok,” says Rupert, a speech-language pathologist, researcher, health and social care manager, and co-author of Don’t Worry, Just Cook (Appetite by Random House, 2022).

Rupert created the video summarizing her mother’s successes as a surprise. “I don’t think I would have let her post it,” says Stern. “I just don’t talk about those things. I just sort of do things.”

Stern has been an advocate for home cooking since 1973, when she founded the now-closed Bonnie Stern School of Cooking in Toronto. She had planned to become a librarian. But after graduating from culinary school, ended up hosting acclaimed chefs such as Jacques Pépin and the late Marcella Hazan at her cooking school instead.

Any one of her accomplishments — running a cooking school, hosting TV shows, writing more than a dozen cookbooks and a 30-year stint as a weekly columnist (17 of which were at the National Post) — would be considered a feat. Throughout her career, though, doing the work has been more important to Stern than stopping to consider her impact.

“I never thought that I’d be doing it forever. I never thought I wouldn’t be. I just never planned ahead,” says Stern. “People go, ‘Oh, you planned ahead so well.’ And I never knew it would be the next big thing.”

When Stern decided to open a cooking school at just 25 years old, she was following her passion. “I didn’t know any better,” she adds with a laugh. “And I just loved cooking. I just loved it so much.”

Toronto, now home to one of the most diverse food scenes in the world (and Canada’s first Michelin Guide destination), had a very different culinary offering in the 1970s.

There were a few good restaurants, Stern recalls, but for the most part, people cooked at home. For many, making three meals a day was a chore. At her cooking school, Stern countered this sense of drudgery with happy enthusiasm.

Stern describes herself as a “very shy” person — then and now — but not when it comes to food. “Cooking gives me something to connect with people,” she says, “which is huge for me.”

Don't Worry, Just Cook by Bonnie Stern and Anna Rupert
Food writer and cookbook author Bonnie Stern co-wrote her new book, Don’t Worry, Just Cook, with her daughter, Anna Rupert. Photo by Appetite by Random House

She recounts her first cooking demo — a fundraiser for the University of Toronto’s New College, where she had graduated with a degree in English. Two hundred people were in attendance. “Afterwards, my mother and I sat there, and we just laughed ourselves sick. Like, that I could actually do that — and I was most surprised.”

Of all the ways Stern has helped people cook at home, her school was nearest to her heart. In 2011, food was booming on the big and small screen. With thriving social media platforms and a new style of food TV, the way people consumed culinary information was changing.

Classes were still full, but Stern’s landlord tripled her rent overnight. She took it as a sign: After 37 years, it was time to close.

“I think I was stunned. Stunned for about a year,” says Stern.

“Or more,” Rupert interjects, laughing.

“Or 10 years — until this book,” Stern adds.

The seed for Don’t Worry, Just Cook was planted before the pandemic, but Stern and Rupert began to write in earnest when COVID hit. Stern had started sharing recipes on social media and was encouraged by the response.

“People seemed to really love it. And they were writing me back and saying how thankful they were, and I thought, ‘Well, maybe I still have something to offer people,’” says Stern, laughing.

When Rupert offered to help, “it really cinched it because she’s a beautiful writer and she’s a quick learner for all the food photography stuff we did. It made a big difference working with Anna.”

The timing felt right, though writing a cookbook during a global health crisis presented unique challenges.

Compared to Stern’s other cookbooks, which she produced with the help of an extensive team, the photo shoot for Don’t Worry, Just Cook was a minimal affair. All of the props (i.e., dishes, textiles and utensils) came from either Stern’s collection or her food stylist Olga Truchan’s. The team of five — including former National Post staff photographer Tyler Anderson — set up in Stern’s Toronto home, with the doors flung open in the middle of winter.

“We were wearing our puffy jackets and masks. It was interesting. I have no basis of comparison, but I feel like it makes it a bit more of a labour of love. When we hold it, it’s like, how on earth did it happen?” says Rupert.

Writing the book together was an emotional experience, adds Stern, but in a good way. “It is amazing to meet your child as an adult, who is just so smart and accomplished, and can handle things.”

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Though Don’t Worry, Just Cook is Stern’s first book since she closed her cooking school more than a decade ago, she never stopped developing recipes. She still teaches — initially holding private classes at home, then via video chat during the pandemic — and experiments with new dishes and techniques.

When it came time to decide on recipes for Don’t Worry, Just Cook, she and Rupert had a list of hundreds to choose from.

“Because she hadn’t published a book in that time, we had so many favourite recipes,” says Rupert. “Even though it’s the first time they’re out there, they’re our favourite classics.”

Many recipes were influenced by Stern’s travels, such as chirshi (Tunisian and Libyan pumpkin spread) — which her friend Gil Hovav, Israeli author and TV presenter, introduced her to — and roasted turnips with za’atar and labneh, inspired by a dish she had at chef and baker Erez Komarovsky’s house in northern Israel.

Others still have stood the test of time, such as the late Italian author and teacher Giuliano Bugialli’s focaccia with tomatoes and oregano, and Hazan’s spaghetti with shrimp, garlic and olive oil. “They really are timeless recipes,” adds Rupert.

Food’s ability to provide comfort and connection is a thread throughout Don’t Worry, Just Cook. And the book’s title holds an extra layer of meaning for those who know Stern well. Though she often tells people not to stress about cooking, she is a natural-born worrier.

“We think the title is perfect and hilarious, because if you know her, that’s what she says to everyone. But if you really know her, you know that she has worried nonstop, and is still worrying,” says Rupert.

Worrying is part of Stern’s process, both mother and daughter agree. Stern links this back to her cooking school.

“I really liked people to ask questions. And even when other people in the class would groan, I would take the question seriously. And because they asked so many questions, that’s why I’m always thinking about them,” she says. “I do try to worry about the things that I can help with.”

Now that Don’t Worry, Just Cook is out, Stern has been hearing from readers who are happy that she is back writing cookbooks.

She may not like to think about all that she’s achieved — or take compliments too seriously — but devoting decades to helping people cook at home has been worthwhile, says Stern. “It isn’t work. It’s everything for me.”

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