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Why do men send unsolicited d— pics?

No, she doesn’t want to see your d— pics! So just why do men send unsolicited, cringe-inducing pics of their junk?

Well when it comes to those in the public eye, it’s about risk and power, says psychotherapist Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil. “Take politicians for example – the more powerful as a politician, they feel the more risks they can take. The more risks they take like sending d— pics, the more powerful they feel.”

Eaker Weil, of doctorbonnie.com, says senders get a dopamine rush from living on the edge, from real thrill-seeking, and the exhibitionism of it all. “The risk and excitement both titillates and calms down the adrenaline rush from sending the pics, and then they need to do it again to calm the anxiety from the rush – it’s a vicious cycle that feeds off itself.”

It’s like having an affair, sometimes worse since everyone finds out, says Eaker Weil, author of Makeup Don’t Breakup. “There’s lots of pain, shame and humiliation so it ruins careers and lives.”

Recently Conservative MP Tony Clement fell from grace after getting caught with his pants down, so to speak, sending explicit photos and videos to allegedly “consenting females” he met online. Lots of men reportedly do it, for different reasons. The biggest debacle to get exposure remains Weinergate – Anthony Weiner, the New York State politician, destroyed his marriage and career by being a d— and tweeting pervy phallic photos to women.

According to Match.com, 49% of women have been sent with a d— pic that they could have done without seeing. Actually photos of penises from guys are the biggest texting turn off for women, so consider keeping it zipped.

Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute and author of the book Tell Me What You Want, says that d— pics appear to be quite common based on the experiences of numerous women he has spoken to. He is currently conducting a scientific study to explore this phenomenon and zero in on why men send pics of their penis.

“Some people engage in behaviours – sexual and non-sexual – where the risks vastly outweigh the benefits precisely because the risk makes it exciting to them. These people are what we call sensation seekers and they are drawn to risky activities that may put their health, reputation, or livelihood at risk,” says Lehmiller.

All shock and no awe! Some men get aroused by sending d— pics to shock and offend the recipient, says Lehmiller, of lehmiller.com. “In other words, for some, sending these unsolicited sexts is the modern-day equivalent of making obscene telephone calls.”

Others do it to attract women but that can backfire and creep girls out. Lehmiller adds that there’s some research to suggest that men tend to over perceive female strangers’ interest in sex, whether in person or online. “In other words, they may think a woman is flirting with them when she really isn’t. This misperception of interest may contribute to why so many men engage in behaviours like sending sexts that are actually unwanted.”

Navigating the world of online dating can be a minefield of unwanted penis pics. Unless specifically requested, sexologist Dr. Pepper Schwartz says “sending the picture is actually a hostile act, meant to annoy or shock, but still, for the most immature among them, it may have, in some way, a nonsensical hope that picture will actually be erotic to someone.”

Schwartz, a sociologist at pepperschwartz.com, adds that aside from the addictive, obsessional and highly-disturbed penis pic sharing that Anthony Wiener made famous, there’s lots of invited erotic online exchanges between consenting partners and potential partners – but these too can also often turn into widespread embarrassment and humiliation when made public. “Pubic or penile exposure is not as accepted as other kinds of Instagram and men and women know it, but sending the picture is a kind of sexual bravado that seems sexy at the time – and is a way of coming on to someone when you know it is unlikely that any overture would be rejected.”

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