I’m 70 and straight, with little association with the gay community. Look, I don’t know what the solution is, because the whole thing is contentious, visceral and emotional. So what I do is go from truth to truth to map out my own position – for me. Here are my facts on which I comfortably rely. They have been tried and tested in my mind. I really don’t care about anyone else’s opinion at this point because I need reality to cling to, not a shifting argument.
1. No one would choose to adopt a way of life often connected with discrimation, ostracism, battery and murder. Therefore it is, by and large, not a choice.
2. Treating non-binary orientation or dysphoria as an aberration to be eliminated encourages extreme and dehumanizing solutions. This is neither congruent with intelligent behaviour or advanced civilization. It is a medieval and barbaric knee-jerk reaction produced by our baser nature.
3. Treating non-binary orientation or dyphoria as a biological ailment has limited merit. It would have to be at the genetic level and the verdict is still out on that. Even if the correlations were proven it could hardly be described as anything other than an alternative manifestation of life.
4. Treating non-binary orientation or dysphoria as a psychological disorder is useless, as therapies has been notoriously unsuccesful in “reversing the gay”. In fact they have caused further trauma.
5. Treating non-binary orientation or dysphoria as demons is not just regressive, but there has been no truly successful “praying the gay away”. In fact this has caused further trauma.
6. My own discomfort with the flaunting an celebratory aspects is much less now, simply because in my mind they can be accounted for as expressions of self-validation, joy, relief, release and euphoric community spirit. I have reservations about the orgies, but then again I have reservations about hetero orgies too.
7. I was nearly 10 when I first found out about rainbow sexuality, and that what was then known as “sex-change” existed. I was traumatized for 2 weeks, but my overwhelming reaction was a sense of betrayal that no-one had told me this before. Children can understand all this quite earlier. Don’t think it would influence their sexuality, but it would certainly prevent future trauma and increase their empathy. Sensitive and positive reference to the LGBTQ situation as part of a child’s upbringing might also cathartically explain a lot that a child may have already experienced, either as onlookers or within themselves. I *do not know* whether it should be done in schools or left to parents.
8. My present position so far makes me inclined to accept same sex parenting. I accept that it likely will not influence the orientation if the child(ren). I *do not know* what other consequences there may be, but am not overly concerned.
9. I know that I can express the foregoing thoughts comfortably in the company of like-minded individuals.
10. I *do not know* if I can defend the LGBTQ community in the company of antagonistic homicidal bay-hounds or fundamentalist fanatics. I may choose to shut up.
11. I can never kill, harm, jeopardise the livelyhood of, or belittle a member of the LGBTQ community.
12. I can laugh at something said about them, provided it was truly funny and not just offensive.
This is the state of my evolution. Figured it out by myself. No-one can knock me off those 12 pillars, but there may be room for more in my future, such as it is.