Dad-of-four handed 'nightmare' diagnosis after suffering memory problems for 20 years

A dad-of-four has been handed a devastating diagnosis after he suffered memory problems for 20 years.

Phil Burdekin kept forgetting appointments and missing turns when driving lorries.

At first, it was easy to dismiss it as stress-related - but over the decades it got worse and the 63-year-old from Southport got increasingly concerned.

Speaking to The Liverpool Echo, he said: "I was getting worried - I didn't know what it was, and then my wife got fed up of me asking the same questions again and again, so she said I'd better go to the doctor."

Mr Burdekin described the diagnosis of young-onset dementia as a “nightmare” and has said suffering with the condition has left him “suicidal” as he struggles to take part in life now.

He added: "It was very stressful. I cried a lot. It was killing me not knowing anything."

Mr Burdekin was only 55 at the time when a scan revealed he had vascular dementia, the second most common type of the condition.

Getting diagnosed sooner would have "saved a lot of upset and stress", but, Phil said: "I'm glad I went when I did because I think I'd be a lot worse now if I didn't."

But he admitted he was struggling immensely with the condition despite the support of his family and finds himself sitting in the background as conversations fly over his head.

"Pity, that - I used to enjoy myself. I felt rotten, suicidal even. It's difficult and I felt down, just trying to get myself out of that situation,” he said.

He added: “It does affect you a lot, and you find that some people won't bother talking to you anymore because they don't know what to say. It's very lonely."

Mr Burdekin’s family have been his rock since the diagnosis with his ex-wife being his carer and his 11-year-old daughter the “light of his life”.

But forgetting them is what he fears the most.

Only a few months ago, Mr Burdekin saw teenagers having a party on the grass near his house before he had the “terrifying” realisation they weren't actually there. It was a hallucination.

Despite all of this, Mr Burdekin is doing everything he can to remain positive and keeps himself busy with crosswords, puzzles and online colouring.

He said: "After getting the diagnosis, life carries on and with time you become more accepting of it.

“I joined a support group in Southport where I met other people in the same situation as me and I made new friends.

“This brought a lot more positivity and the fears of having a dementia diagnosis started disappearing as it made me feel I wasn't alone.

“Getting a diagnosis has changed my life, for the better in some ways."

In the UK, around 900,000 people have dementia with over 42,000 of them having young-onset dementia which is when they develop it before the age of 65.

New research from the Alzheimer's Society found 27% of people with dementia in the North West of England waited more than two years between noticing symptoms and getting a diagnosis, in large part because they assumed symptoms were a sign of ageing.

Symptoms, which tend to get worse over time, include memory and language problems, slowness of thought, difficulty planning, concentrating and walking, and feeling disoriented, according to the NHS.

Steve Green, the Alzheimer's Society's area manager for Merseyside and Cheshire, where 31,957 people have dementia, said: "Asking the same question over and over again is not called getting old, it's called getting ill.

“If you're worried for yourself or someone you love, take the first step this Dementia Action Week – come to Alzheimer's Society for support.

“The stark findings of our survey show just how dangerous it can be to battle dementia symptoms alone and put off getting help.

"Yes, getting a diagnosis can be daunting, but it is worth it. More than nine in 10 people with dementia told us they benefited from getting a diagnosis – it gave them crucial access to treatment, care and support, and precious time to plan for the future.

"With the pandemic causing diagnosis rates to plunge, it's more important than ever to seek help.

"You don't have to face dementia alone, we're here to support everyone affected."

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