Great Britain

Man questioning life decisions that have led him to queue two hours for KFC

A MAN queuing for two hours to buy a bucket of chicken is going over every decision in his life that has led him to this moment. 

Nathan Muir has so far ruminated on failed relationships, missed opportunities and poor choices while his Ford Ka moved approximately 100 yards over an hour towards a fast-food restaurant.

He said: “I’ve had a vague, nagging feeling that things went wrong somewhere for a while now. But this two-hour wait for warm grease is really crystallising it for me.

“I’ve made the wrong decisions in my career. I’ve screwed up my love life. My dad can’t talk to me without the unmistakable undertone of disappointment.

“Even on the small scale, I could be anywhere right now. I could be climbing a mountain. I could be writing a novel. Instead I’m here, in a 19-year-old car with a buggered clutch, sweating in the sun as I queue to be awarded chicken.

“That’s my priority in a global pandemic. Hot chicken. The world would miss me not at all.”

Two cars behind, 38-year-old Helen Archer said: “I’ve got a good job and a family that I love. What am I doing? Please don’t use my real name.”

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