Ask the right questions and really listen
One way to find out if you and your date could be a long-term match is looking at your common values and principles, not just common interests.
“In a long-term relationship, both people are going to change over time, "Dr. Sterling said. "But if your values and principles are aligned, if they’re similar, then those changes are going to manifest in ways that remain compatible.”
Although it can be pretty tricky or even intimidating to ask someone about their values on a first date, creative questions can help you get to the root of a person and even help you stand out.
Dr. Sterling gave an example: Say you’re looking for a long-term relationship and you value personal integrity and happiness, and look for depth in a person. Ask them something like, “Would you rather be at a job for 10 years, making half a million dollars a year, but unhappy and unable to quit, or make $25,000 a year and feel completely fulfilled professionally?”
The answer to a question like that is going to provide you with information on whether or not you and your date have similar values and what that person prioritizes in their life.
When asking your questions, however, make sure you’re really listening. Dr. Sterling agreed that sometimes we really want something to work out, so we ignore major signs or red flags.