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Staten Island has best-rated penises in online survey

Pete Davidson isn’t the only Staten Islander with BDE.  

CamSoda, the adult entertainment company behind a newly-launched penis-review website, revealed you’ll have to ride the Staten Island Ferry to find the hottest sausages in the Big Apple.  

Over the past two months, 1,617 New Yorkers dropped their trousers and asked models for their opinions on what they were packing downstairs. The Forgotten Borough made a lasting impression, with junk on the island receiving an average rating of 8.89. 

Far behind were Brooklynites at 7.21, the Bronx (6.76), Queens (6.54).

Itsy-bitsy Manhattan took up the rear with only 5.01. 

Pete Davidson is a Staten Island native with famous BDE.
SteveSands/NewYorkNewswire/MEGA

“Every time I walk into City Hall someone calls me a big D-word,” quipped City Council Minority Leader Joe Borelli, who hails from richly-endowed Richmond County. “Now it finally makes sense.”

“Maybe it’s all the Italian food,” mused YouTuber Joey Salads about his fellow islanders. “Pizza and pasta, it’s the key to some good D.” 

When getting sized up, penises were graded on the basis of their length, girth, and overall shape.  Good lighting and manscaping below the belt also helped. 

“How you present your d–k is how you present yourself,” said Charley Hart, a Miami-based cam model. “I’ll even tell guys, ‘Well it’s a 7 but if you trimmed it would take it to an 8.’”

A majority of the models noted that Staten Island johnsons tended to resemble “cucumbers,” while Manhattan manhood was long but thin, like a pencil.

Some Staten Island women questioned the models’ judgment, including Nikki Dowd, 38, who thinks Brooklyn got robbed.

“How you present your d--k is how you present yourself,” said Charley Hart, above.
Courtesy of Charley Hart

“Brooklyn got better guys and nicer pensises,” she said. “All my friends they all have men in Brooklyn.”

The data release follows the launch of Camsoda’s bargain-bin d–kratings.com, where for $0.99, cam models give d–k pics a once-over.