Posting publicly on social media about your love for your spouse shouldn’t be a sign of cheating — but in 2022, it’s an immediate red flag.
Introducing the “wife guy” — a term you may have heard to describe men whose entire personalities are their wives. Although lately, that squeaky clean image of a clean cut family man has taken a hit as a slew of celebrities famous for their strong relationships were exposed for cheating on their significant others.
The most recent scandal? Ned Fulmer from the “Try Guys,” a founding member of an internet-famous group who has built his career — and media personality — around the loving bond between himself and his wife, Ariel.
Fulmer — who was fired last month from the YouTube show after being exposed for having an affair — is hardly the first celebrity to take the sheen off the wife guy image.
Just weeks ago, Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine was exposed for sliding into several women’s DMs behind the unsuspecting back of his spouse, model Behati Prinsloo, who is pregnant with their third child.
In 2021, comedian John Mulaney, whose stand-up often centered around his love and adoration of his actress wife, Anna Marie Tendler, divorced her after six years. He then moved in with new girlfriend, fellow actress Olivia Munn, and soon welcomed a baby.
According to relationship expert and podcaster Kate Leggett, it’s unsurprising people are losing interest — and faith — in the wife guy trope.
“They’re doing a big gesture for their partner — but it’s also for the world — that takes away the inherent kind of sacredness of it and makes it more transactional and performative,” Leggett explained to The Post.
She says people are suspicious of an ostentatious declaration of love through constant posts with sappy captions, knowing it’s often for the benefit of the outside world — not a loved one.
“Because of this instant access to others’ experiences and conversations around them [through social media] a new collective awareness among women — especially married women — is happening and making these behaviors less and less acceptable,” Leggett said.
According to Leggett, the message is not to base an entire personality or persona on being married to someone or make it your “brand,” rather than something that really fosters emotional intimacy and connection.
She added it creates conflict when people find their identity in their relationship — and then monetize it and use it as their “brand.”
“Those two things inherently conflict with [the] beauty of sacredness, specialness, uniqueness of marriage,” she explained. “But then the accessibility of that through social media, those two things just oppose each other.”
Leggett said the “problem” with men touting themselves as wife guys is, at the end of the end of the day, they’re using their wives as a tool for their own benefit and sometimes, career advancement.
“Even though wife guys can give their partners the world, that doesn’t translate to loving them,” she said. “These men are ‘doing’ love, instead of being ‘in love’ — it’s the difference between dancing a little jig and experiencing the eroticism of the tango.
“One is only observed, and the other is actually felt,” she pointed out. “And the latter is, of course, what everyone wants in relationship.”
