In Irelands National Museum‚ theres an iron-age corpse called Old Croghan Man – his well-kept fingernails and visible skin-pores make him look weirdly alive (even though he died about 2000 years ago in a not-so-nice way)
The northern-European peat-bogs are known for their body-preserving powers: low-oxygen conditions plus high acid levels work together to keep flesh intact while dissolving bones. These bog-bodies often show signs of ritual killing‚ like Old Croghan Man whose nipples were cut off – a big deal since kings in ancient Ireland had their subjects show respect by nipple-sucking
Cutting them would have made him incapable of kingship
This ancient kings story now connects to a fresh dark-comedy film “Rumours“ where G-7 leaders meet some very active bog-bodies. Cate Blanchett plays a German chancellor hosting other world leaders including:
- A sleepy US president (Charles Dance)
- A wine-loving Canadian PM (Roy Dupuis)
- A smart British leader (Nikki Amuka-Bird)
- Some other not-so-useful politicians
The movies leaders find an old bog-body (with its private parts hung around its neck) during their property tour; but dont think much about it. Later they waste time making empty promises using fancy words like “bilateral“ and “geopolitical issues“ while failing at writing a simple crisis statement
Things get weird when ancient bog-bodies start chasing these modern leaders through dark woods. The film makes fun of todays politics: leaders care more about saying nice things than doing them‚ and they dont really understand old cultures even though they pretend to. Its like watching ancient and modern bad leadership meet in a strange forest dance
The movie shows these powerful people as regular humans who worry about marriage problems food and sleep – just like those preserved bodies were once living people too. Maybe thats the point: bad leaders‚ ancient or modern will eventually get replaced; its just a matter of time