Single adults – those people 25 years and older who are not married, can thrive, and enjoy life to its fullest. However, far too many of them experience great pressure from family, friends, and society, to get married and have children. Many of them, even when having no plans to marry, are pressured to have children because they are told it is the best thing to do.
There is no requirement in law, religion, or scripture, for someone to get married to be a productive, healthy, thriving human being. Each individual is created as a complete human being which the potential to grow and flourish. Unfortunately, many are taught that they are not complete or a whole person unless they get married. Hence, some are desperate to find a partner. Some are lonely because they were not encouraged to think of themselves as a self-actualized person.
The following are seven tips for single adults to thrive:
Have a positive self-concept: Psychologist, Dr. Tim Clinton states, “This need is a true and deep appreciation for oneself, a genuine and joyful self-acceptance, an authentic self-esteem, which results in an interior sense of celebration: It’s good to be me … I am very happy to be me!” To thrive, one must believe in oneself. One must fully accept oneself and do not depend on others to be validated. In addition, knowing that we are created in the image of God and are made complete, unique, special and with a purpose, is an important principle in developing a positive self-concept.
Accept that you have the power to select and the freedom not to select: Too many single adults, especially females, anxiously sit waiting, hoping to be selected by a prince charming. After a while of not being selected as a life partner, it leads to despair. They forget that each of us, including females, has the power and freedom select to or not to be selected. Dr. Laura Schlessinger wrote in her book “Ten Stupid Things Women do to Mess Their Lives” these profound words, “Far too many behave like beggars than choosers in the dating game. For them, dating is a process of hoping to be selected rather than an opportunity to select.”
Don’t assume being single is a handicap: “Many singles are walking around like their ‘singlendom’ is a badge of shame,” states Dr. Clinton. I encourage single adults to wear their singleness as a badge of honor. Dr. Jenny Taitz, clinical psychologist, and author of “How to Be Single and Happy” looks at being single as your chance to figure out your own personal mission statement. She says this is the critical time to figure out who you are and what you stand for.
Get out of your parent’s home: If you are 25 years old or older and your parents are still asking you, “Where have you been?” “Why are you coming home so late?” “Why do you dress that way?” “Why were you not at church last week? “When are you going to get married?” Then it might be best to live on your own. They might be making it difficult for you to thrive as a single adult. They are still thinking of you as a dependent, immature person, who cannot think or your own. They might be overly protective and do not understand boundaries. Far too many parents are actually preventing their adult children from thriving because they want to keep them “under their wings.” On the other hand, far too many single adults enjoy living off their parents. They are selfishly using their resources. Don’t procrastinate on following your dreams and living an abundant life: Procrastination is a killer of the drive to thrive. Sitting and waiting and hoping for something to come to you is a big mistake. Holding off on important things to do or personal development will stifle you. Take that trip you’ve been thinking about, and don’t be afraid to go out by yourself to enjoy a movie or dinner at a fancy restaurant. Serve enthusiastically in ways God leads you. Make plans and set goals. Consider ways God is leading you to grow, and strive to become the person he is molding you to be. Get up and move. Ecclesiastes 11:4 New International Version states: “Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap.”
Remember you are non-negotiable: You make your own decisions. You have the power to evaluate and critique things and situations to come to your own conclusions. Be assertive. Be pro-active. Be confident. A thriving single adult knows the things in his or her life that are not negotiable. It could be about integrity, respect, and honor. A thriving single adult does not vacillate on making important decisions and does not allow others to divert his thoughts or direction.
Remember you are a child of God: He made us full and complete. There is no dating period nor marriage certificate required for heaven. There is no requirement to have children to enter heaven. There is no driver’s license or college degree needed to enter heaven.