Culture Matters
Dara E Healy
Female grocery packer 1 – Oh gorsh, it hot!
Female grocery packer 2 – Ha ha. Like yuh have menopause or wha?
Packer 1 stays silent
“In many societies, attitudes and laws discourage public discussion of sexuality and sexual behaviour…social norms may perpetuate…gender inequality in relation to sexual relationships, family planning and modern contraceptive use.
– UN International technical guidance on sexuality education
I READ with amusement and irritation about the recent seizure of adult sex toys by Customs officials. It was a fairly ordinary story, one to which I would not normally pay attention. I think what caught me was the description of the items as obscene and indecent, an unfortunate throwback to colonial-era laws and views about sex.
In our society, the word "indecent" is at the centre of various archaic rules – from what women must wear to how we should express ourselves at Carnival or as creatives. At the core of the problem is the fact that we consistently refuse to have healthy conversations or fully educate our young people about sex and sexuality.
So we persist with outdated ideas instead of adopting approaches that are more relevant to what our society needs right now. Why?
Many of us are already aware that sex is more complex than gratification of the human desire for pleasure. Teenage pregnancy limits the educational and career prospects of girls. In the Caribbean, where the prevalence of HIV infections is the second highest in the world, young people account for nearly 60 per cent of new infections. Violence and sexual abuse are becoming increasingly intertwined.
Thus, discussion and education must focus on a wider knowledge of sexuality which includes “…spiritual, religious, political, legal, historic, ethical and cultural dimensions that evolve over a lifespan.”
Sexual orientation, gender and intimacy are also integral to an understanding of sexuality.
Poor information can have long-term social impacts. For instance, too many women are unaware of how to manage menstruation, changes in their body or how to speak to their daughters about sex.
This can lead to generational dysfunction in families, where, as one writer puts it, girls may end up “…at risk of seeing their bodies as the property of boys because they haven't been supported in developing a sense of ownership over their own bodies…Ultimately, they're more likely to end up in long-term relationships or marriages in which they're sexually unhappy.”
Developing a broad, human-rights perspective of sexuality is critical for boys as well. Advocates for age-appropriate education on sex agree that there should be an additional emphasis on areas like a respectful family life, cultural and social norms and values. Yet “few children and young people receive preparation for their lives that empowers them to take control and make informed decisions about their sexuality and relationships freely and responsibly.”
These information gaps also iaffect how we approach parenting. Just this week there was a dispute between a couple at a government office. The man threatened to beat the woman, while their two small children looked on terrified and bawling. Embarrassed and trying to get control over the situation, the woman threatened to “give the children something to cry for.”
As part of a national programme on parenting, our organisation is currently reaching out to communities, sharing positive parenting advice and addressing overall family dysfunction. In the communities, people are in tears as they reveal their frustration as parents, lack of support from partners or physical and sexual abuse. Women speak about the uneven power relations in homes, where although both parties work, there is still the expectation that the woman must be primarily responsible for the home, meals and caring for children.
Research shows that holistic conversations and education about sex result in a willingness to delay intercourse, reduced risk-taking and decreased numbers of sexual partners. A broader view of sexuality can positively impact harmful norms, opinions and language around gender, relationships and female sexuality.
As our nation reels over the loss of children from drowning, being burnt by hot food and other forms of negligence, there seems to be a greater willingness to deepen the conversation about parenting and the other complex challenges we face.
But more is required. Open and honest conversations about sexuality are essential for our healing. We continue to ignore this to our detriment. And that is truly indecent.
Dara E Healy is a performance artist and founder of the Indigenous Creative Arts Network – ICAN