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Ask Amy: Young dating people are worried about "love bombs"

Article author:

Amy Dickinson •  Specializing in post-media networks
A psychology student new to dating has a lot on her mind when it comes to love-bombing.
A Psychology student unfamiliar with dating has a lot in her mind about love bombing. File Photo Photo/Getty Images

Dear Amy:I'm 21 and just started dating games.

My dad was a narcissist and used the bombing of love to get my mother.

I've seen her go through multiple men using the same tactics. I understand how abusive these men turned out to be.

I'm also a psychology student, so I tend to read things a lot.

My question is how can my brain receive compliments without raising the red flag?

If people call me beautiful or give me other compliments, I'm still having the hardest time talking to people.

– Confused Dating

Dear Dating:"Bombing of Love" is essentially generously given to potential partners to trap A term that describes a particular type of attention. The person who is related. This refers to taking a shower (“bombing”) a person with an affection, attention, gift, compliment, friendship or premature declaration of love.

This technique is often used by potential abusers to destabilize and control their partners.

Knowing about the "Bombing of Love" will help protect you in future relationships.

It's important to always stay true to your true self, but if you're overwhelmed or unsure of your appeal, finding that anchor can be difficult.

It's nice to report that the compliment isn't necessarily the first grenade of the love bombing campaign.

When I was your age, I countered all compliments with a self-deprecating denial until a friend replied: Just say "thank you".

Only "Thank you" is the required response. Then you need to stay in space with an open attitude to see what happens next.

As you are entering this stage of your life as a skeptic, you feel that the "Bomb of Love" is completely fake, not real, premature and manipulative.

You will know it when it is thrown in your direction.

Dear Amy:I used to use Facebook. I didn't post much. I'm an individual and I'm always worried when I post something.

But my husband loves it and I swear he is alive for it.

A little over a year ago, we lost our son.

I wrote a poem about this and sent it to my husband by text message so that her husband could see it.

Her sister-in-law told me, "It was a beautiful poem you wrote about her son."

She was watching it on FB.

I was fine. My husband didn't even ask me. He took it for himself and posted it on Facebook. That was my poem. I shared it with him and he shared it with the world. He deleted it.

Her husband's cousin also tragically lost her son a few years ago, and her sister-in-law posted this on Facebook to inform her family before her cousin called. rice field. Herself.

Her husband and I often walk. Recently, her husband's sister contacted me about a post she posted on Facebook.

She said, "I see you and my brother go for a walk today."

I asked her how she knew about it. "He posted it on Facebook," she said.

I understand that Facebook is a good way to stay connected with family, friends, and (in my husband's case) strangers.

I hate Facebook right now. It was so annoying that it was no longer private.

Is it wrong to be angry with these privacy breaches?

It's as if it has been handed down to the world.

– Private Wife

Dear Private:No, you're not wrong. Your husband doesn't understand or is willing to understand how you feel when you violate your privacy.

Sorry, he made these choices ranging from annoying you to deeply hurting you. Call him every time until he receives the message. In addition, you seem to have a sister-in-law who enjoys jumping over boundaries. Be very careful about what you choose to share with her.

I agree that Facebook is annoying, disturbing, and often destroys relationships.

Again, jumping off that particular platform was one of the smartest things I've done in recent years. (Although I really miss learning about the various milestone moments in people's lives.)

Dear Amy:With a blank notecard received from a charity About the question you received about what to do with the occasion card – My local Miles on Wheel likes to give the card to the recipient for a special occasion. They will happilhqoWP5f5y accept nice cards for those purposes.

– LH

Dear LH:This is a great idea.

opening envelope

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