Imagine a school system where children have choices in what and how they learn

When students consistently fail, they learn to hate school.

When I was in the third grade, I had a math teacher who wanted to “challenge” us with a fourth-grade test. We got the test back on my birthday and my heart sank. I had scored 35 per cent.

Already, I was a weak student when it came to math. I wasn’t good with numbers. This confirmed it: I hated math. When the teacher passed my desk she said, “You’re not going to have a good birthday.” I was devastated and afraid to go home and show my mom. When I got home, clearly distraught, and mustered up the courage to show my mom, she told me I didn’t have to worry, that we would find a solution to improve my grades. It worked.

As report cards are done and the holidays approach, I’ve been reflecting on my experience as a teacher, asking myself questions and thinking about what I could have done better for my students. The main reason I wanted to teach was to help shape young minds.

I know how hard it can be as a parent to keep up with schoolwork and to see your children struggle; it’s exhausting as a teacher, too. Often a child doesn’t understand a topic and we have to move on because of time constraints and testing. When the time comes to evaluate the child, failing or not, they move forward. By the time they graduate, they are left to face the real world without the fundamental skills necessary to succeed.

What happens to these kids? They hate school. Some of them don’t continue their education and others fall through the cracks in a system that is saying they did their best.

After writing a column on report cards, two subscribers sent in their stories about school experiences that marked them.

One man, John, struggled throughout his childhood with a lack of support from teachers and his parents. Instead of educators taking the time to see what his passions were, they spent time on discipline and mockery. He said, “I attended several schools. I remember having discipline issues that resulted being slapped on my open hands with a leather strap. This was in the first few grades. I later was held back a year. Eventually I was taken out of school in the 10th grade, as I was going to be set back again.”

Reading this broke my heart. As a teacher, this is not something that we take lightly, and definitely not what we want to hear. Though it is certain that those methods of discipline are no longer used, the reality is that without proper support, children do not learn how to regulate emotions or function in a classroom setting. These outbursts usually stem from something as simple as a lack of interest. They can also be a result of low self-esteem because of constant failure or lack of understanding. Be it low self-worth or boredom, something must be done to ensure our kids are feeling successful.

Parents, this includes you.

Without a positive support system at home, children often come to school unprepared. They don’t complete homework, they are not motivated and often, their learning remains stagnant as curriculum gets more difficult, but the amount of effort with regards to school remains the same. If we want children to succeed, we have to hear them; we have to be there. A phrase from John’s story stands out: “I only wish my parents, even with their sixth-grade education, participated in my schooling.”

The result: He provided that support to his own son, who became successful and “was instrumental in the reconstruction [of roads and road structures after earthquakes in California].”

I look at our school system and I wonder why it’s so rigid. Why are we asking students in Grade 1 to solve a problem on a test that they can’t even read?  Imagine a system where the kids got to choose their avenue from a young age. Maybe not the main subjects, like Math and English, but the arts. I have students who hate drawing but love music. I have others who can create storylines and characters right off the top of their head. I have students who love technology and excel on a laptop. Why are those subjects few and far between?

Life is not all about academics. We need to work together; we must be kind and open to new ideas and ways of learning, both academically and as individuals. It is imperative that we help our kids succeed emotionally. That “light bulb” moment that we teachers live for can happen to parents, too.

Send in your stories, like and subscribe to our Parenting & Advice newsletter. I always want to hear from you: bianca.ferrara3@hotmail.com.

1. 

   Everything you need to know about your child's report card

2. 

   What to do if you don't get along with your child's teacher

3. 

   Tell your children, 'be with whoever makes you happy'