Is the Metaverse the Future of Dating?

, CC and I met on a floating platform in the middle of a galaxy far, far away. As with most space travel, some technical issues arise. CC, as they call it, should be a rabbit, but to me it looks like a little anime girl in a hoodie with big cat ears and a tail. My voice is delayed and disrupts the natural flow of conversation. And for a few minutes my body was that of a skinny blonde woman in a cropped puffer jacket and leggings, crawling half-crouching.

"I'm sorry," he heard me say a few seconds after I actually apologized. "I don't know why this is happening."

"Don't apologize," CC says. They have seen stranger things before, they assure me. This was the nature of the interaction in virtual reality

. I met CC a week before her at Nevermet, one of her on the rise in virtual reality (VR) dating. There are also services whereusers can match her with other VR enthusiasts and arrange a meetup somewhere in themetaverse. There's also her Flirtual, which promises "safe and magical dates in VR." There is Lonely Hearts dating agency in Second Life. Even Match Group, which develops apps like Match, OkCupid, Tinder, and Hinge, announced in November that she was launching Single Town. Single Town is a virtual space where single people can meet and organize pixelated rendezvous.

All you need to go on a VR date is a fully charged headset and an open mind. You and your buddies can enjoy endless beach sunsets at VRChat's Serenity Cove or roam the apocalyptic landscape in Race Against Fate. Play Freezetag in a magical world with moving walls, or flirt in an underwater lair surrounded by giant alien jellyfish. You can also meet at a bar — I've heard it's a popular VR dating option.

Launching this Valentine's Day, Nevermet's goal was simple. It is a complete restructuring of human nature. “We are going to change the dating market, where physical attraction is no longer the primary way people connect, but rather a combination of several factors,” Nevermet CEO Cam Mullen said in a phone call. It will be one," he said.

Dating today puts too much emphasis on looks, he argues, Mullen. VR will finally allow humans to evolve beyond the superficial and instead connect with each other on a deeper level (mind to mind, mind to mind).

Nevermet's interface is similar to that of other dating apps such as Tinder and Bumble, but with teethy grins of friends' weddings and triumphant striped buses. Instead of a hoisted photo, users' profiles will show Metaverse avatars. Instead of a biography of looking for an “adventure buddy,” the user often includes his VRChat and Discord username and a list of his favorite VR games.

Appearance is still valid Valid Of course it will appear. Many users want to connect with someone with a discerning female avatar wearing a micro-jolt, or an ultra-masculine beefcake avatar with a mandible that spreads out from the mouth like bat wings. I think. But there are also many who would like to connect with a lovely humanoid fox who shares their passion for houseplants, or a faceless demon with sharp teeth and a healthy communication style. I was amazed at how many matches I made using my first avatar. A giant, smiling mushroom, but abandoned when a man with a bunny avatar said he associated my avatar with a child.

There was already a thriving social scene before savvy developers started putting out apps for the metaverse. It is often said to be full of drama, intrigue, bingeing, and ERP (erotic role-play). — essentially, VR sex).

A VR regular I spoke to describes the Metaverse friend group as a Gordian knot of romantic tension, connecting different people every day. There is also a VR club, which is a popular space for drinking parties and parties.

One woman said that when she attended a DJ event at one of such clubs, she saw an avatar fainting on her floor in VR. increase.

"It's kind of bad because I don't think people understand that technically you're not alone, but you're alone," she says.

Clubs are also popular meeting places, an exhibitionism that is looked down upon by some. In one YouTube video he discusses the benefits of ERP (pros: more immersive than porn, cons: not as good as real sex), one VR user, in an interview with the host, said he had problems with virtual sex. It says no problem unless there is a . It takes place in her VRChat space in public.

"It's like a high school drama, but you barely graduated from high school." It's by people who don't.”

Blue met his wife, Elaine Karapetian, 27, in VR. Both are creators of her VRChat. They initially bonded over their love for the band 100 Gecs, and became close when Blue helped her Karapetian survive a series of emotional entanglements. As Blue puts it, "The solution to her boy problem was another boy, and that was me."

I was faced with the fact that one of my biggest drawbacks was the fact that I could meet people from all over the world. Blue was living in Newcastle and Karapetian was living in Wisconsin when they met. They spend a lot of time in her VR, but it was important that they both met in person as soon as possible to see if they were compatible enough to date seriously.

In May 2021, Karapetian flew to the UK and fortunately, everything went smoothly. The couple then discovered another big drawback of VR dating. Spending time with someone in VR may seem like the real thing, but it's not.

"When you meet someone physically, VR no longer works," Blue says. The Karapetian's first time together in VR after leaving the UK was miserable. "It was so sad, we cried with each other. I was like, 'This sucks, I don't want to be in VR.'"

Less than a year later, Blue Traveling to the United States, he and Karapetian got married. Karapetian is now waiting to obtain a visa to move to the UK. While spending time together in real life was important for the couple, Karapetian says he knows a lot of people who would like to keep the VR dating experience entirely online.

"People I know are dating in VR. Many of them have never met or seem to be in the game."

By Ommulen "While the majority of users envision meeting in the real world one day, ``One day, virtual reality will become so immersive that more relationships will thrive online.'' I believe," he said.

Many VR users have already said they have experienced a "phantom touch" where they physically feel what is happening to their VR avatar. Some people say that when you touch your arm in VR, you can feel it in your real arm. This phenomenon is particularly relevant to his ERP, but it also helps deepen the feelings that arise with more chaste contact. Blue remembers what happened before they started dating. His and her Karapetians were tapping each other's heads, a popular form of VR contact. "I was sitting there and she petted my face. I felt that this was very intimate."

among non-VR users who chose to take advantage of all the wonders that in-person dating had to offer, such as tight scheduling, sweaty upper lips, and blisters from lips, because they didn't know the concert was standing-only. , chose to wear new shoes. You may tend to ignore VR. Some suggest it's a way for people to bury their heads in the sand instead of engaging in the often uncomfortable task of being a human being looking for love in the world.

See the reactions to his new HBO documentary on VR dating,We Met in Virtual Reality. Blue recalls seeing a lot of Snark online when the trailer came out on his Twitter back in July. Comments such as "This is dangerous" and "Why don't you go outside?"

But for many of his VR users, accessing his thriving online dating life is no way to avoid the wider world. the way to access it.

"Many of our users live in small towns," Mullen said. “Some go to the military. Some have social anxiety in the physical world in social situations. Some are limited to welfare.

VR also provides a space for users to safely experiment with their gender identity and gender expression. According to Flirtual co-creator Anthony Tan, the majority of users are between the ages of 18 and 30, and 50% of users identify him as LGBTQ+.

Before making the transition, Karapetian says she sometimes went into a private VR world and switched to a female avatar for a while. She has also met many transgender friends on her VRChat, making her feel safe enough to go through her own transition.

"Before VR, we were in a very unacceptable environment," she says. "What VR has done for me is that it has given me a good group of people to explore."

Back in space, CC and I met her Beat Play a imitation of Saber. It's a popular VR game that lets you slash through colored blocks with your light-girlfriend saver to the beat of different songs. It's fun and will break your coffee table once and for all. CC is engaging, easy to talk to, and eager to help you navigate the complexities of VR. CC actually shows up on our dates. The first person I matched on Nevermet texted me an hour after the appointed time and said sorry for forgetting the time. This was my first time getting up in VR or in person, and while it was annoying, I am grateful I didn't have to leave my couch.

Certainly the Galactic Conference between me and CC is not a date. When we first matched, I explained that I was a journalist writing articles. It will be the strongest by any means. CC says he recently started seeing someone in VR. In fact, she was the first person I matched on Nevermet. It's not "ultra-official", but the "relationship" is going well. The two are only about an hour and a half apart in real life, but CC shook her head when I asked if they planned to meet. "Part of it is health concerns due to the pandemic," CC says.

CC has noticed a significant increase in her VR users during the pandemic, she says. VR seems like an attractive technology for people stuck at home with money and time to spare. It's an easy way to escape the mundaneness and fear of the real world and connect with others without the risk of breathing in a harmful virus. And if you can meet new people, flirt with them, and go on dates to exotic locations. Even better.

It's still hard to say if the pandemic ushered in a new era for virtual reality. Companies like Meta and Google have placed considerable weight on VR, but promises of it have been splashed around at ground level for decades, but never really took off.

In 1989, theNew York Times described the technology in his front page article as follows: Control your computer with your hands in a natural way. Reporter Andrew Pollack wrote, "There may come a day when the two play simulated tennis without leaving their living room."

More than 30 years later, headsets don't look all that different from helmets back then, but they're much more affordable. In 1989, VR helmets and gloves cost him up to £200,000. Today, his one of Meta's Oculus Quest 2 headsets will set you back £399 (£299 before August 1).

A lot of VR's growing up has been among kids whose parents got quests for birthdays, Christmas, or just as a pastime, but Tan says that VR will be useful for his Gen Z and I hope it spreads beyond the hardcore gamers who use it. now.

"When I talk to my parents and people my age, they like it when they try VR, so I think I'll give it a try," he says. But until VR is widely adopted, he believes the success of VR dating will depend on word of mouth. This is the same way that his Tinder and Bumble dating apps became more mainstream when online dating was stigmatized.

"We've developed a real relationship, and I think that's proof that it works for people," he says.

This article was originally written on The New York Times