ENGLAND only have three problems ahead of the World Cup: the defence, the midfield, and the attack.
It’s an old joke borrowed from another sport, but Gareth Southgate isn’t laughing as he surveys a side unrecognisable from the Three Lions that achieved so much at the last two major tournaments.
England have gone from being one of the most prolific teams in Europe to failing to score from open play in five consecutive games.
One goal always looked likely to be enough to beat an England team short on ideas and intensity.
And so it proved as Giacomo Raspadori gave Italy a deserved win on Friday night in Milan.
Southgate said: “We’ve got to be decisive in the final third and we’re not managing that at the moment.
“That’s a bit of a head scratcher given the quality of the players and the positions they got themselves into.”
But scratching that itch successfully is what Southgate is paid to do.
Why does Raheem Sterling, to take the most high-profile example, look like a pale imitation of the player he is at club level and has long been for England?
Captain Harry Kane seemed set to beat Wayne Rooney’s 53-goal all-time scoring record in time for the World Cup.
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Now you have to wonder whether England will play enough games in Qatar for him to score the four Kane needs to surpass that personal milestone, let alone lead the team to a historic triumph.
Kane said: “When you get to major tournaments, it’s about being clinical, taking one chance when you get it.
“These last four or five games we haven’t done that.
“We’re just not quite, especially from an attacking front, doing the business at the moment.
“It’s disappointing, for sure, but I’m a confident guy. I know the strikers and attacking players here are confident players.”
The problem is, England don’t look confident.
And they have just one more game to sort that out — a Nations League dead rubber against Germany at Wembley tomorrow.
It feels like a lot of the intensity and belief has gone out of Southgate’s England, particularly up front.
And as ever with the Three Lions boss, there is debate about how to balance defensive strength with attacking threat.
Tournament success was built on a strong defence which has crumbled as players like Harry Maguire, Luke Shaw and Ben Chilwell lose their places at club level, while others struggle for fitness or form.
Bukayo Saka found himself playing left wing-back in Milan on Friday night, but Southgate doesn’t seem to have many other solutions beyond the trusty back-three comes good again, rather than finding a way to make a back four work.
The England boss said: “I think the defenders that are playing well are playing in back threes.
“Of course if you don’t win matches people will look at everything and we’re always open minded.
“But I think it [three at the back] gives us the best chance, over the next few months, of depth in those positions where, if we get injuries, we’re not changing the system again and starting from scratch.”
The return of Eric Dier was one positive thing to cling to from Friday. The performance of Jude Bellingham was another.
Relying on a teenager with limited big tournament experience is a risk, but Southgate has little choice.
His options in central midfield were already limited before Kalvin Phillips, fans’ player of the year in the season England reached the Euros final, had surgery on a shoulder that makes him no better than 50/50 to go to Qatar.
Southgate said: “We have a slight lack of depth in the middle of midfield, which is a concern – but I think Jude had an excellent game, which is encouraging.”
It is, but not enough to override all the other issues.
Even England’s set-pieces, such a potent weapon at the 2018 World Cup, aren’t working anymore.
So it feels a lot like Southgate’s side have become the football version of the nation’s cricket team in 1986.
It was famously written: They can’t bat, can’t bowl, and can’t field.
What happened? Mike Gatting’s side went on to win the Ashes in Australia.
So maybe, just maybe, it will be alright on the night in Qatar.
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