Dear McKoy: Boyfriend Don’t Want to Make Love – I am 25 and my boyfriend is two years younger than me. We have been together for over a year and we have had some incredible sexual experiences. However, there is one subject that we just can’t seem to agree with and it’s us making love during my period. My sexual urges tend to skyrocket when I’m on my period, but he won’t let us have sex because he says he can’t stand the idea of the mess we’re going to make. This is really frustrating to me because this is one of my horniest points and I have to try hard to control myself. My ex-boyfriend didn’t have a problem being intimate with me during my period. Am I being unreasonable if I ask him to please me during this time?
Dear B: Yes, you are being unreasonable. Many parts of physical intimacy are typically non-negotiable, as people’s ideas, feelings, and boundaries vary widely and are deeply personal. It’s crucial to respect each other’s boundaries in general and it would be unfair to force him to engage in penetrative sex while you are on your period, since it clearly turns him off. While “messiness” is something to be avoided at all costs, I’m confident that you and your partner are capable of coming up with inventive ways to enjoy non-penetrating sex that is still comfortable and satisfying for both of you.
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