Dear McKoy: My girlfriend and I have been together for the past four months. We met at a club but at the time she was dating another guy who she eventually left to be with me. I ensure that I take care of her financially but there is one problem. I cannot satisfy her sexually. I have a small penis and on top of that, I cannot last more than 30 seconds. I feel that even if I try to fix my premature problem I still won’t be able to satisfy her because of my size. She is always horny and her ex-boyfriend used to have sex with her almost every day. Every time we have sex I feel depressed and I try to avoid it because I don’t really want to face my problem. I can tell she is disappointed every time we finish because she just lay there staring into space. Sometimes at night, I can hear her pleasing herself and I pretend to be sleeping. I can’t risk losing her. She cheated on her ex-boyfriend with me but it was because he wasn’t good at sex, it was because he wasn’t giving her money. I just don’t want her to cheat on me for sex because I love her and she means a lot to me.
-K. Brown
Dear K. Brown: First of all, you should never worry about someone cheating on you. If they do, you shouldn’t bother with them. When you worry about something, you keep reliving it, even if it never happens.
As it relates to your size, there is nothing you can do about it, you just have to work with what you get. On the other hand, you might want to get used to “holding back” when you masturbate. You can learn to stop yourself by tightening your muscles. When you’re inside of her, you can also stop moving and wait for the “wave” to pass before moving again.
You can also use your lips and fingers to fulfill her prior to intercourse so that she does not feel compelled to seek satisfaction through penetration. If she can have a clitoral orgasm, you can take care of it during oral foreplay, if you are not already doing so.
It is important that you let her know about your concerns so that removes some of the internal pressure you feel. Hoping for the best.
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