Dear McKoy: Woman Searching for a Man in His Twenties – I am a 50-year-old divorcee who has recently dated a few young men in their twenties. I meet older men, but I’m not really drawn to or interested in men my age or older. I lecture at a college, and I find myself admiring the younger men a lot. When it comes to men my age, I no longer give them a second glance.
I am attracted to younger men for a variety of reasons. I like men who have less baggage and are more receptive to new experiences, whereas my peers are frequently divorced wrecks with “problems” I wish to avoid. I know what I want, and I’m looking for someone with some maturity, but without the ex-wives, children, commitment and trust difficulties, and other hang-ups that are so common among my peers.
I want to find a young man in his twenties who is willing to commit to a long-term relationship, not just a hookup as with the ones I’ve been with before. The sex is great and they are surely not boys. I find that people are becoming judgmental and they gossip a lot about me. I don’t care what they say. I know what I want.
C. Smith
Dear C: It’s not easy to ignore what people think. People who think badly of you might not even notice if a man in his fifties was with a woman in her twenties. Is there a word that makes fun of an older man who dates a younger woman? No. Ageism, hypocrisy, and double standards about what kinds of relationships are “acceptable” are common in our society. Most of the time, no one cares about how old each partner is. Ignore critical stares or remarks, even if they come in the form of compliments. Individuals who are sexually confident can find partners of any age who are also adults, and they have every right to feel good about that.
