In 1991, Australian television entered a new age when Ray Martin’s Midday Show, previously a forum devoted purely to delighting housewives with softball interviews and the genteel musical stylings of Geoff Harvey, erupted in fisticuffs.
During a debate on republicanism, after perpetually angry shock jock Ron Casey made venomous reference to singer and Vietnam vet Normie Rowe over the latter’s military service, Rowe crossed the floor and shoved Casey roughly into his seat.
During a discussion on Ray Martin’s Midday Show in 1991, sport reporter Ron Casey disparaged singer Normie Rowe. After Rowe shoved Casey into his chair, Casey threw a punch.Credit: Fairfax Photographic
Casey responded by landing a punch square on Rowe’s jaw, and as the crew rushed in to separate them and Martin threw to a commercial break, afternoon viewers from Broome to Berowra felt their horizons open, as they realised television could be so much more – more wild, more unpredictable.
In short, Australian telly had proved that it was as capable as any other nation’s telly of producing genuinely weird moments. And not just weird, but weird in a quintessentially Australian way. For what other country could have brought about the “drunken uncles punching on at a lamington drive” vibe of the Midday brawl?
Australia has long been a manufacturer of bizarre TV moments in that charmingly Aussie way, combining the baffling with the amateurish and making us all swell with patriotic pride at the same time. The year after the Midday stoush, Doug Mulray hosted Australia’s Naughtiest Home Videos – a special featuring the content that Australia’s Funniest Home Videos was not allowed to air.
Doug Mulray in 2008. In 1992, one year after the infamous Midday Show brawl, the clip show Mulray hosted, Australia’s Naughtiest Home Videos, was abruptly taken off air mid-broadcast.Credit: Simon Alekna
Much-anticipated, when it hit screens it was mostly amateur footage of animals having sex, with the odd penis-weightlifter thrown in. Unfortunately for lovers of such “naughty” gear, Channel Nine’s owner, Kerry Packer, was kicking back at home and decided to check out what his beloved channel was showing. A quick look at the genital-based antics of the special was enough: Packer got on the phone to Nine and bellowed, “Get this shit off the air!” Abruptly, viewers of Naughtiest Home Videos were watching a repeat of Cheers, in what had become a real rollercoaster of an evening.
The early 1990s seemed to have been a hotbed of raunchy oddness on TV. Around the same time as Normie and Ron were fighting and Uncle Doug was presenting kangaroo testicles in prime time, the “adult drama” Chances was blazing briefly but magnificently in the TV firmament. Making headlines initially due to producers’ requirements that the soapie story of a family that wins the lottery was generously packed with gratuitous nudity, a slide in ratings saw the show turn to desperate measures.
Yasmin Dale of the inaccurately titled reality show Yasmin’s Getting Married.
In its latter days, Chances pivoted to plotlines featuring, among others, vampires with lasers, man-eating plants, Abigail (of Number 96 fame) as TV sexpert Bambi Chute, and Neo-Nazis hunting for Eva Braun’s necklace, which had the power to turn its wearer into an ancient Egyptian goddess. It didn’t help the ratings, but it did inspire a sort of awe in viewers, who were now becoming used to switching the TV on and exclaiming “what the hell is going on”.
When reality TV came along, Aussie shows took the opportunity to supercharge the weirdness. In 2006, Network Ten trumpeted its new show Rene’s Getting Married, in which a young woman would choose a suitor from a gaggle of hopefuls and actually marry the dude, all on camera. The show hit its first snag two weeks before the premiere, when Rene revealed that actually she’d rather be normal and pulled out. Producers scrambled to find another woman with an unnatural desire to marry a stranger, and Rene’s Getting Married became Yasmin’s Getting Married. Audiences goggled in disbelief and four weeks into the run the show was axed due to widespread queasiness.
That reality experiment died from lack of viewers, but in 2004, plenty were watching Big Brother series 4, when surprisingly named contestant Merlin Luck produced one of the greatest moments in live TV history. After being evicted from the BB house, Luck came out on stage to meet host Gretel Killeen with gaffer tape over his mouth and a sign reading “FREE TH REFUGEES” (the “e” on “the” had fallen off). As Killeen attempted to question Luck about his time in the house, his decision to protest, and what, generally, the go was, the radical housemate simply sat, vibrating slightly, and refused to talk. It was awkward and confusing and utterly mesmerising.
Gretel Killeen and Merlin Luck in the season 4 episode of Big Brother, in which the just-evicted housemate staged a protest.
Live TV can do that: as carefully as you prepare, you can never guarantee nothing will go wrong. As Australia’s Top Model host Sarah Murdoch found out in the live finale of the 2010 series. Standing on stage next to top two contestants Kelsey and Amanda, Murdoch waited for the winner’s name to be relayed to her through her earpiece before saying, “it’s you, Kelsey.” The crowd went wild and Kelsey made a heartfelt speech about how honoured she was.
Just as Amanda was making an equally heartfelt runner-up address, Murdoch’s face fell and her hand went again to her ear. “Oh my god … I don’t know what to say right now … I’m feeling a bit sick about this … no …” the stunned supermodel said, before uttering those now-immortal words, “I’m so sorry …it’s Amanda.” Confusion and embarrassment reigned: Amanda made a muted acknowledgment, Kelsey responded with frankly heroic composure, and Sarah Murdoch resolved never to do live TV again. At least not in Australia, where even the showpiece event of the world’s most glamorous reality franchise can end up as a botched pub raffle draw.
Australia’s Next Top Model host Sarah Murdoch (right) discovers the perils of live TV when she announced Kelsey Martinovich (centre) as the winner, before correcting herself to say Amanda Ware had won the competition.Credit: Foxtel
That’s the common thread in all of Australian TV’s weirdest moments: that sense that in this country, we make things up as we go along, and make the best of whatever disaster comes along.
There’s no better proof of this than the time that then-Opposition leader Abbott decided to try out his own flavour of improv comedy when being interviewed by Seven’s Mark Riley. Asked by Riley about controversial comments regarding Australian casualties in Afghanistan, Abbott departed from the conventional political technique of “saying things” and instead fell silent.
Staring at Riley with searing intensity, as if trying to make the reporter’s head explode with the power of his mind, Abbott remained wordless for a full 30 seconds before finally announcing, “I’ve given you the response you deserve”, and sweeping off into the annals of history. Truly weird TV. Truly Aussie TV.
Ben Pobjie’s latest book, 100 Weirdest Tales from Across Australia, is published by Affirm Press.
