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Amy Dickinson • Specializing in post-media networks
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Dear Amy:I have an intermittent relationship with a man in a convenient and frivolous style with the woman he found. The fascinating thing that has always bothered me. I broke up with him about this and explained in several details how it feels humiliating to me when he behaves this way.
When we stand up again, he always says he is a "newcomer" who understands my feelings. He even thank me for helping him become a more respected person. A few months later, things start to slip.
This time, the slides were a health fear for me when I had some symptoms commonly associated with sexually transmitted diseases.
I was negative for this STD (he is positive for STD and we are using condoms) but he for one woman in our group Behavior became so frivolous that my mind began to interpret threats everywhere regarding our relationships.
I decided to see his text message with this woman. He once described him as the person who felt he was heading for his "father."
Indeed, they had a sexual relationship at one of the times when he and I broke up.
At this point, I want to take a romantic clean break from him, but I'm worried about all my mutual friends.
I'm having a hard time talking to him about knowing that he's been lying to me for years about his relationship with this much younger woman.
Despite what I might say I'm worried about my health, our sexual intimacy, and the relationship between his actions, he said he I hear that I saw the phone and it causes a nuclear reaction.
Suggestions for carrying out this end of a romantic relationship that does not ignite possible reactions, including losing friends in our circle.
– Ended with suspicion
Dear Completion:I start with this rhetorical question: Why are you catastrophic to your boyfriend? Are you borrowing a detailed and transparent explanation of why you are doing it? With him (yet).
Dissolution seems to be only once if you don't want to explain yourself and you don't need to explain yourself completely.
He may believe he is blind, but many people recite his mistakes and failures when his partner is already gone. I don't really want that.
We recommend that you say: "I'm tired of not trusting you. I'm tired of worrying about your health and me. This relationship is a tough job for me. This roller coaster gives me Is not good. I need to take a clean break and be alone. "
Splitting puts a shared relationship at risk. Your discretion regarding private conversations and refusal to engage in emotionally accused charges may be a welcome remedy for people in your shared group.
If you're a real friend who has witnessed your unstable relationship for years, you might find a way to say "coming soon."
Dear Amy:My wife and I are seniors. We recently started a casual friendship with another couple. Over the last three months, we have shared meals from two restaurants with them.
They are heavy drinkers and gluttony. We are neither – as a result, their share of the bill is much greater than ours.
They do not offer to cover additional costs or receive tips.
Our last meal resulted in two couples splitting their bills evenly and eating (and almost drinking) $ 80 more than we did.
Her wife said she wanted to have another dinner with me, so I asked for another check. She finds this "cheap".
We feel it is being used and as long as we continue it, this will continue.
Your thoughts.
– RMB
RMB:I am with you. Getting individual checks is not "cheap".
All you have to do is establish this once. That's exactly what you do.
You can say (to these people, and directly to the server). "I'll do a separate check tonight."
I think this is a good way to move forward with relationships with strangers.
Dear Amy:The "upset husband" was a self-made man who didn't want to receive a generous cash gift from his wife-in-law.
My parents gave us home money, which we gratefully accepted.
Then they wanted to control what we did at home.
The gift ended up costing us a lot.
– I was there
Dear I was there:That was my reading about this particular letter.
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