FORMER Eastenders star Melissa Suffield has admitted she had an "absolute meltdown" and cried solidly for three hours after "ripping the skin" off her nipples.
The actress confessed she broke down in tears after being diagnosed with mastitis three weeks after the birth of her son, River in March.
"His [River's] latch was pretty good, but I was having a bit of pain," Melissa, 27, revealed during a live chat with Jane Mason, the founder of Natural Birthing Company.
She added: "Everyone had said ‘You’re doing it wrong’. I was like, ‘That is not true, surely?'
"If I go from having nothing to something on my nipple, obviously I’m going to be in pain to some degree.
She went on to say she had convinced herself she was doing something wrong because it did hurt.
"Everyone was like, ‘It’s the most amazing feeling’ and I was like, ‘This is the worst feeling.’ This is horrible," she said.
Melissa then explained that three weeks into breastfeeding, she could feel a 'clogged duct' on one of her breasts.
The pain resulted in her breaking down in tears on the sofa.
"It was really high and not in a place where I could nead it out," she revealed.
She added: "That turned into mastitis which was my first and really only mum absolute meltdown.
"I was on the sofa in tears for about three hours saying, ‘This is the worst pain ever.’
"I didn’t want to take the antibiotics I’d been prescribed because I was worried about forcing River to have it."
Melissa tried putting breast milk on her nipples to ease the pain, but she admitted the 'nipple trauma' continued, which eventually resulted in her skin being ripped off.
"I put breast pads in the bra," she said.
"But when I woke up the next day and peeled them off, basically all the skin came away. So I was like, ‘I’m done to pumping,'" she said.
"So I wore nipple shells instead of the pads."
"I wore them for about eight weeks and that was literally how long it took."
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Melissa, who played Lucy Beale in Eastenders between 2004 and 2010, gave birth to her first child, River Jefferson Carter-Robinson, in March.
She shares little River with her fiancé Robert Brendan.
“What a perfect little human we appear to have made," she said as she announced the exciting news on insta.
"We could not be more obsessed with you."