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Great Britain

I ditched my fiancé after having great sex with the star of our badminton team

DEAR DEIDRE

DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER dreaming about him for months I had sex with the star of our badminton team.

I’d called off my wedding for his sake – but now I’m worried I left a good man for the sake of a dream.

I’m 28 and my then-fiancé is 30. We were together for six years. I still love him dearly and he adored me, but my interest in sex with him had long died.

We were due to get married last month but the man from my badminton club had been right at the front of my mind.  He’s 25 and a gorgeous fit hunk of a man.

We flirted like mad but we never went further than that. He knew I was engaged and he’s an old-fashioned principled man. I started to dream of him every night.

I had niggling doubts about tying the knot which at last got the better of me. I walked out on my fiancé with just weeks to go. A week or so later my badminton partner and I crossed the line and went the whole way. It was after a tournament win.

We were both on a high and we went to the pub and then I went back to his place.  I realised that I had forgotten how great sex could be. The next day he called me. We went for a drink and agreed that we’d made a mistake and it was best if we just stayed as friends.

Now I’m wondering, what have I done?  I know there were issues in the relationship with my fiancé but perhaps that’s just normal as we’d been together so long. I’m scared to contact my ex as I can’t bear to put him through any more pain.

Deep down I know that I still hold a torch for my badminton man and that I’d be with him now if he’d really been keen.

In fact, part of me hopes this might change. Should I try it again with my ex? I can’t make up my mind.

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THREE out of four parents don’t set online filters.

Yet I hear every week from young people being targeted by online predators and have heard from kids as young as 11 worried about their online porn habit.

My leaflet Staying Safe Online is a helpful guide.

For a copy, email me at problems@deardeidre.org or private message me on my DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

DEIDRE SAYS: That would be very unfair if you dropped him again if the hunk changed his mind – however unlikely that seems. You still love your ex so why not get together and talk? At worst, it could help him to understand better just what made you leave as you did.

That can help him move forward and find a new love, but don’t let him beg and persuade you to stay if that’s not what you want.

Be honest with him and yourself. If the truth is you love him now just as a friend then it’s best to face up to that now, rather than after you’re married or years down the line.

Or did the pair of you simply get lazy and stop putting in effort to keep the relationship fun and alive?  If it’s the latter, my e-leaflet Your Relationship MOT can help.

Get in touch with Deidre today

Got a problem?

Send an email to problems@deardeidre.org. Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

People share their experience of failed relationships on Channel 5's documentary, Holiday Love Cheats
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