We relocated three years ago out of the city, as we thought it would be a better environment for our two children and be more affordable.
However, I’ve never been so miserable in all my life. I hate where I live and I’ve still not met one person I can call a proper friend.
The mums at my children’s primary school are so snotty and unfriendly – I’m lucky if I get a “hello” out of any of them. The whole place shuts down at 5.30pm and my husband and I have no social lives.
We used to see our old friends from home, but now that’s impossible thanks to Covid.
To make things worse, we have no one to bubble up with at Christmas.
We usually stay with my parents a few days, but they don’t want to take the risk as our kids will have been at school. I understand their decision, but I’m heartbroken as I’m missing them so much.
We can’t bubble up with my husband’s family, as they live abroad.
I know other people have worse problems at the moment, but I feel so lonely and cut off.
Do you have any advice?
Let’s tackle the Covid Christmas first. I think you’re just one of many people who’ll be in this situation this year. Although we’ve been given the green light to see friends and family safely for a few days over the holidays, I think many older people, like your parents, will decide it’s too much of a risk.
While you have to respect your parents’ decision, I understand how disappointing it is, especially if you’ve been feeling cut off anyway.
If you live near enough to your parents, could you meet them for a few hours one day and have a walk and exchange gifts? Or could you sit around a fire pit in the garden?
I know it’s not the same, but you’d still get to see each other and spend a few hours together. It’s worth thinking of alternatives.
As far as the house move goes, I know from personal experience it can take a while to find your people and feel settled somewhere.
If it’s looking unlikely you’ll meet a group of friends through your kids’ school, then look for other opportunities. Sometimes we’re lucky enough to get along with other parents at school, but it doesn’t always happen like that and you might have to look in different places for friends.
Personally, I could not wait until my kids went to high school, so I could avoid the school gate dramas.
Also, talk to your husband about the move and discuss how you both feel. There’s no shame in moving back or looking for somewhere else to settle if you’re very unhappy where you are.