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Yes, I Talk To Myself, Duh!

Yes, I talk to myself.

My village used to call it schizophrenia, but I recently read that self-talk is normal and helps keep you calm and rational. Of course, I go the extra mile of having loud conversations with myself, but please accept me and love me just like you love those who believe they’re in the wrong bodies.

Yes, my friends, it’s time to embrace the craziness and find solace in the sound of your own voice.

Let’s take a moment to consider who you would rather talk to in certain situations than yourself. Who else can truly comprehend your mind’s insanity, the brilliance of your ideas, and the sheer magnitude of your wit? Clearly, your own ears are the most attentive listeners.

Consider yourself alone in a seemingly endless traffic jam, with only your thoughts for company. So you start arguing with yourself about how you’re going to tell your boss that you’re no longer his doormat. You say it, he says it, and it gets so loud that the car next to you honks and asks if everything is all right. You quickly gather your thoughts, smile, and wave as you say, “It’s OK, chief!”

You realise that you were hitting that steering wheel hard and shook your head like a maniac and you’re embarrassed. But it’s okay, you have handled it well so far. Now enter that office and never repeat what you just said in the car. Ha ha, you will get fired.

Oh, here’s another scenario: you arrive home at 04h00, much to your beloved spouse’s frustration. You deliver a heartfelt monologue as you enter the house, skilfully crafted to explain your late arrival. Your eloquence is on flick as you recount the epic adventure that caused the delay to your return, complete with wild exaggerations and dramatic flair. Your loved one starts feeling sorry for you and love is back in the house because you took the time to practise.

You found yourself having a conversation with two to three imaginary people in your head and realised a minute later that everyone is staring because you’re loud with gestures, smiling or angry, and you appear psychotic. That’s what I’m referring to. My friend, you’re not insane. Maybe just a little, but aren’t we all a little cuckoo?

Some misguided souls may now raise an eyebrow at our peculiar habit. They may label it strange or abnormal. But, dear reader, let me tell you, normalcy is overrated. In a world where cats wear hats and trees in the Kavango region shift positions at night, we’ve come to accept far greater absurdities as the norm, so why not enjoy the sweet lunacy of conversing with our most trusted confidant?

I remember someone trying to explain that if someone consistently engages in loud self-conversations or exhibits other unusual behaviours related to talking to themselves, it might be indicative of a psychological condition such as auditory hallucinations or a dissociative disorder. I walked away from that person because I don’t listen to nonsense.

So, the next time you say something to yourself and look around to see if anybody heard you cheering yourself up, smile to the universe and say it again. This world is already mad, just add your pinch of spice.
Let me leave you with this quote from George Carlin: “The reason I talk to myself is that I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”