Nigeria

Lessons from a loss (II)

Chukwuneta Oby

The only time to start living your best life is NOW. Not later or when you feel you will be ready. As you work hard, normalise savouring the fruits of your labour and helping others when they need it most.

My deceased relation denied himself a lot to “gather enough.’’ But at the end of the day, that money that he couldn’t spend to take good care of himself is what was used for his burial. And the reality remains that all that he sweated for (and was too busy to savour) will probably end up in the hands of someone who didn’t know how much SWEAT went into what they are reaping from.

Your loss is not everyone’s loss! As you are drowned in sorrow over your loss, a lot of incredible human nature will come to play. At your loss, someone is happy for the free food and drinks while another is happy that “business’’ will at least boom.  And to others, that’s an avenue for a party and fashion parade.

In other words, the cause of your sadness can actually become an opportunity for someone’s smile. It’s important you learn to always wipe your own tears because in most cases, others will react senselessly to your loss.  And it may not be intentional.

Make WHO YOU ARE what informs how you relate with others. The times I let “who they are’’ inform how I related, I regretted the outcome. I am aware that people’s conduct can force one to begin to hold back their best self and actually begin to relate EXACTLY how anybody related to them. But when THE END stares you in the face, you would wish you erred (over and over again) on the side of compassion, regardless. Once you behold that lifeless body, nothing will matter anymore.

You are rather filled with thoughts (especially REGRETS) of what you did and didn’t do right and in most cases, you would be beating yourself up for not doing more, despite their attitude.

Sometimes, we can’t help getting carried away with our own challenges and fail to show enough thoughtfulness towards loved ones. But of utmost importance is not to turn away the ones who reach out to you for help/support.

Certain things we do often point to where (or those in whom) our faith lies. Don’t see every opportunity to HELP as being “used.’’

Make yourself understand that it’s only someone who has FAITH in you that turns to you in their lowest moments. Some people don’t even bother with “family’’ but friends at their lowest moments.

It really can be a sign of huge faith in you when someone looks your way when they are down. The most important prayer to say for loved ones is for God to fix their private struggles. Believe me, you don’t know a lot of it. People (even spouses and children) keep a lot from family.

And because you can’t always know, keep embracing them with your prayers, anyway. Some of these struggles, you are even powerless to. When someone said that the last time he saw my late brother was at a funeral of a townsman, I nodded “that’s life for you.’’

You are here today but not there tomorrow. You attend a condolence visit today but your obituary could be next. It’s not every one that is down in health that will die before you. I mean, why else does sudden death happen?

My brother has sponsored the treatment of some people that are down in health but when death came knocking, he exited this world before those that were supposedly “down.’’ My point is run with the stability you find in each moment because life is uncertain!

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