POLOKWANE – Valentines Day is here and love is in the air, but what about couples who are not on speaking terms?
Pastor and marriage counsellor, Peter Moloto from Mankweng says true love and a good marriage gets stronger with good communication. He told Review that Valentines Day is a day of love and should be taken advantage of forgiving one another if a couple is going through some rough patches.
“I believe we shouldn’t wait for Valentines Day to be affectionate. Being a pastor for more than 30 years, I have counselled a lot of married couples and I have noticed that most of them love each other but that there was just a bit of misunderstandings. I was able to work with them through their issues with counselling sessions,” he said.
Moloto explained that in a marriage, talking with your spouse is one of the best ways to keep the marriage healthy and successful. “You should be honest about what your feelings. Talk to your partner if something does not sit well with you. It does not help bottling things in your heart because sometimes that causes one to have anger,” he said.
He said that when you talk about certain issues that bothers you, make sure you approach it with a low tone of voice without arguing or fighting. “Be kind and respectful when you communicate with each other. Part of good communication is being a good listener and taking the time to understand what it is your spouse wants and needs from you,” he advised.
He advises couple going through a rough patch, especially a divorce, to go for therapy or counselling sessions, especially if they have children. “Remember that when you go through difficult times, the children are also affected because they experience and feel the tension in the house. If you both love your children, go for counselling. If you do not want to do it for you guys, then do it for your children,” he advised.
He added that counselling helps couples learn how to provide greater compassion for their partner. “This is usually something that happens to everyone,” he added.
He said that it helps discover new skills to break destructive cycles of communication. “Couples learn how to redirect negative energy from arguments towards creating passion and stability in an enhanced relationship,” he concluded.