(CNN)A few minutes after a shooter killed 10 people at a grocery store in Boulder, Colorado in March 2021, a woman stood behind a supermarket. Was there. She worked in Denver, about 30 miles away, scrolling through her phone and staring at the disastrous images of the scene.
It was strange to see a picture of an employee who ran out of Boulder's King Supers wearing a uniform and an apron. She was like she and her colleagues wore every day, she told CNN. After the slaughter, "When I got a job, every day I wondered where the exit was and where I would go when I heard the shooting," Megan W. CNN has agreed to use only the first letter of Megan's surname. Of her concerns about privacy.
She said, "Whenever a customer abuses words, I wonder if this will be the case," she said, 32 years old. "Are they pulling out their guns or coming back with them?"
Like Megan, many people identify escape routes, hide places in crowded rallies, or identify. He described the new compulsive habit of avoiding public places altogether. Parents expressed their fear of sending their children to school or their desire to move abroad. The teacher talked about leaving the career of his choice.
"This is like a number game. Point. Not so, but someday," Megan said.
"When will my unlucky day?"
He is planning an escape route from a public event
Rian Troth, a 47-year-old father from Sacramento, California, recently attended. Graduated from high school with his family. However, sitting in the auditorium, he felt defenseless and had no choice but to mentally plan the escape of his family in the event of a shooting and identify exits and potential hiding places.
"This is one of the first things that comes to my mind right now," he said. "What do we do? Where are we going? How are we hiding? How are we providing shelter? Where are we throwing our children? So that they are not harmed. Lying on top of the children. "
On Saturday morning, he spoke to CNN and Toros planned to take the children to a local pride parade. He had already chosen a place to watch, he said-there's a shelter nearby, a park just behind it, to help them escape if his worst nightmare becomes a reality. Let's go.
"Am I having borderline delusions? No," he said. "It's the world we live in. I have little to protect."
She stopped going to the local grocery store
"I rarely go to mostly black supermarkets "The 62-year-old Prince said. She is a-year-old black grandmother. "I prefer to go to supermarkets where the general public is more mixed than just one nationality, so I won't be chosen or a particular supermarket will be chosen.
Prince, a British citizen who has lived in the United States since the 1980s, is now driving about 20 miles to Austin to go shopping. She also goes less often, so she tends to go late at night when she's not busy. She goes to these extra lengths because she wants to see her 7-month-old grandson alive until she reaches the age of 18.
"Before this, you didn't think about it. You just lived your life, you walked around, and you did what you had to do," Prince said. .. "Now you have to think about it, and just don't harm yourself."
"But no one really knows what the way of harm is. "Hmm," she added.
They are considering leaving the country
By all means, Ryan and Sandra Hoover, 38 and 37 years old Ryan Hoover told CNN with his 7-year-old daughter and 4-year-old son in Ashburn, Virginia, where he lives an "idyllic" life. But now, with the rise of gun violence, couples are actively seeking to relocate from the United States.
The conversation began in part with a joke, they said, but became more sincere after the shooting at Robb Elementary School in Yuvarde. Ryan Hoover has already told his boss about working abroad, describing his new life outside the United States as "head-on."
"We are driving a Volvo XC90. It is the safest car in the world. We live in a safe and prosperous area. We have healthy food for our children. Is giving, "he said. In other words, "We do everything we can to keep ourselves safe, and we send them out, and every day they get on the bus, I mentally think of those horrifying thoughts. Must be suppressed. "
For Hoovers, it doesn't matter if they can raise children in the United States, but if they want, Ryan Hoover said.
Hoover wondered, "How can I live a sustainable, happy and fulfilling life?"
She is afraid to send her children to school
The day your child first goes to school It should be a milestone that all parents are looking forward to. Erin Roma, 34 years old. She is a 2- and 4-year-old mother living in Madison, Wisconsin.
"But her feelings are gone to me."
After being shot by Yuvarde, Rome was "absolutely afraid to send children to school." ing". Next year, the 4-year-old will go to kindergarten. She knows she's unlikely to face such a shooting "intelligently," but "I don't feel emotionally, especially because there's little you can do," she said. ..
"I've been to the building for various events before. Every time I go, I'm thinking about the situation of active shooters in this building and a little 5 year old kid. "She said. "That's the image I'm so sad about keeping my child in school for the first time."
He's still too young and what in an active shooter situation Rome said he couldn't discuss what to do.
"But that's what I'm already thinking about. How do you talk to a 5-year-old kid about what to do if you have an archer at school?"
Embracing the farewell of a kindergarten child, she feels "powerless"
Other parents are dealing with similar fears, including Tony Reef Odette .. When she says goodbye to kindergarten children, she tells CNN that her 6-year-old daughter knows that her mother loves her.
"Sometimes I think of my parents who had or couldn't get the moment and lost their children," said a 38-year-old mother in Traverse City, Michigan. .. "There is a fear that she may go to school and live with a terrifying experience, or she may not be able to live with a terrifying experience."
"I feel helpless." She added. About that. "
It's not a new feeling for Leaf-Odette, who has experienced similar thoughts about two older children, an 8-year-old daughter and an 18-year-old son who have just graduated from high school.
He was in elementary school when the Sandy Hook Elementary School broke out in Newtown, Connecticut in 2012. Almost 20 years later, after the slaughter that claimed the lives of 20 people. She has vivid memories of picking him up from school. Elementary school and 6 adults.
"He was wearing a blue puffer coat and was thinking the same about him. I especially remember, "she said. They are hiding in the closet.
He bought his first gun in his life
Gary in Springfield, 66, for most of his life Bixler, Ohio, he said, opposed owning a gun. He had only owned a BB gun so far. But that changed about a year ago when he and his wife each bought a pistol.
"Our home has security equipment and there is always a German Shepherd. No one has ever tried to break into our home," Bixler said. "We didn't buy (guns) for home security. We bought (guns) for security."
Today, Bixler's wife has a gun everywhere she goes. She said, "I asked her the other day," and if someone goes into the store and pulls out the gun and starts shooting people, they can't trigger and disarm the person with the gun. mosquito? .. '"
" She said she could do it, "he said. "But no one knows it until it actually happens."
She stopped going to bars and clubs
Kayla Hyllested loves playing with friends, exploring restaurants and immersing himself in Swanny's culture. A suburb of Atlanta, Georgia.
But today, she and her friends, 25, rarely set foot in downtown Atlanta itself, worrying about their safety, she told CNN.
When she and her friends get together, they weigh the "pros and cons" of each outing, she said. They don't want to be too late or too far from home. They don't want it to be too busy and they are aware of "what kind of crowd it attracts".
"When I was in college, before the pandemic, I didn't really think about going to bars and clubs until about 3am or where I was. Let's do it. " "And today, every weekend, there are shootings at these random bars, lounges and clubs."
"So I and my friends go to really popular bars, lounges and clubs for that. I try not to, "she said. "I used to go everywhere, meet other people, meet people. It doesn't happen anymore. I go to restaurants."
But the threat of school shooters was in those worries. This was mainly because it meant that regular active shooting training was always in mind for her and her students.
Her school teacher had to take a lot of precautions, said Heilig-Gaul, 67. For example, no one could see inside or outside, as only she was allowed to answer the classroom door and all windows were to be covered.
And there was training: the blockade was announced and the class gathered completely quietly in the dark. When the student asked why, Heilig-Gaul said she had to explain. I have to teach this. "
" I feel helpless, "she said. "I used to think,'I'll be able to help these kids. I'll be a good person and I'll be okay with it,'" she said. "And I can't. That's too much."