A woman has claimed that daycare staff refused to let her daughter leave the center with her until she tidied up.
The anonymous parent told an internet forum that after confronting the staff about the issue, she received a “verbal warning” for undermining their authority.
She now wants to know whether or not she was in the wrong for complaining.
“Poor planning doesn’t mean you can break rules”
The woman took to the “Am I The A**hole Forum” to ask: “AITA for telling my child’s daycare teacher that my child won’t finish cleaning up?”
“My two-year-old daughter has been in home daycare for a few months now. The teacher, Sasha, is very nice. I am normally all for my daughter cleaning her own messes,” user u/daycaremomissue explains.
She continues, “However, I find when I arrive, Sasha expects my daughter to finish cleaning up whatever she was playing with. Which again would be fine, but it delays us getting out the door and heading home, sometimes we have plans, etc.”
The mom then explains that to prevent this problem, she messages the educator in advance to ask her to start wrapping things up before she arrives.
This strategy seemed to be working… “until today.”
“Things were crazy and I was in a rush. We had a lot to do this afternoon and I was running behind because I had car trouble. When I arrived, my daughter and some friends were in the middle of cleaning up a big mess. I told my daughter that we had to go and to get her coat.
“Sasha said she needed to finish cleaning up her part. I said any other day, sure, but I am running late and we cannot miss this appointment. Sasha tried arguing that the kids need to learn responsibility and I flat-out said no.
“I grabbed my daughter, put her coat on and left.”
After the hectic afternoon, the mom found time to check her texts later that evening.
“I had [a text] from Sasha saying poor planning on my part doesn’t mean I can break rules. I pointed out this is not in the contract and I can bring my child home whenever I want. She accused me of undermining her authority.”
The mom was then given a “verbal warning” which she said she found “ridiculous.”
“You should find a different daycare if you can’t follow the rules”
One said, “If those are the rules that all of the children are expected to follow and you were aware of that, you and your daughter should be following them like everyone else.”
Another wrote, “If you’re upset, there are a lot of daycares out there, you should find one that has different rules.”
Then this daycare worker commented: “I’ve worked in highly regarded licensed facilities for a long time. This is standard practice.”
“If you have problems sticking to your own schedule that is not her problem. It’s also likely she has a waitlist and can absolutely (and should) replace your spot since you seem to have this idea of ‘it’s her job’,” a different user argued.
And this person agreed, replying, “I wouldn’t deal with you, nor would my administration. You get two warnings for disrespectful behavior or policy violations then you’re out.”
“Cleaning up teaches the child responsibility and she got to leave her mess with the other kids who now have to clean it up,” another member posted.
However, some people did come to the mother’s defense and helped her find solutions.
“Would it be possible on days like this to let the teacher know ‘daughter needs to leave by x-time because of an appointment’ so that she knows in advance that you will be picking her up and leaving by that time?” one woman asked.
A second added, “Not just texting ahead, but making it known that you will be out the door by a certain time, regardless of mess.”
And a third responded: “If you say you’re leaving with your kid, you can leave. She can’t keep her there until she decides your child can leave.”
“I worked childcare and if you have a set time for pick up then there’s no reason clean up can’t be started before then,” someone else chimed in.
