Gutfeld: After Mar-a-Lago's raid.
"Gutfeld." Attorney General Merrick Garland's press conference on his FBI raid on former President Donald Trump's Mar-a-Lago home and calling it "forced." Panelists reacting to panelists responding to the media objecting to calling it an "investigation."
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Happy Thursday, everyone. What a great show. Here comes Brett Byer. Yes, I'm guessing Brett Byer or Teddy Ruxpin in case you put in a new battery. Featuring Dagen McDowell. Because she smelled crawfish in her purse.
With the country reeling from a bizarre historic raid on a former president's home, the current president is going on vacation. Let's hope he tries parasailing, BASE jumping, and even more dangerous hotel stairs. But he deserves a break. As you know, he has accomplished a lot. He put on his jacket first. This is after the first 15 minutes of slow dancing. But it was the crowning achievement of his presidency to date, and in that time he created a solid boom-boom in the press toilet. Well, near the toilets in the press office. I'm sorry, Brett.
So, after about four minutes of actual work with hands busier than his CNN producer on Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, Biden jumped on the plane. He hops on a plane, but it's not just Dr. Jill, a noted pediatric neurosurgeon who discovered a cure for hemorrhoids when Joe accidentally sat on a pile of bingo chips. He invited his son Hunter to fly with him. I'm not sure Hunter really needs a plane to do that, but he prepares to leave with Joe. I believe there is a tape of the actual flight with Hunter.
DOJ asks court to open his MAR-A-LAGO raid warrant. AG MERRICK GARLAND PERSONALLY SIGNED OFF HIS TRUMP SEARCH
BTW HE IS FREE WITH YOUR MONEY is not the only family enjoying the trip. Pelosi's son also accompanied him on a recent trip to Taiwan. You know, the trip that almost sparked the war. She wants us all to believe that even though he and her husband do business, it's just a coincidence.
As Hunter and Joe say, they only go to China for real kung pao chicken. Nancy said her son was there as an escort. But I think she's trying to save her face. what's the point But no surprise. She cuts down to her remaining three that she keeps in the refrigerator. Every time she reaches for her chocolate Häagen-Dazs, she looks back at herself.
Central President Joe Biden From left, son Hunter Biden, grandson Beau Biden, first lady Jill Biden (hidden) and daughter-in-law Melissa Cohen stand at the top of Air Force One's stairs. (AP Photo/Susan Walsh)
But that's a stark contrast to the treatment the Trump family received this week. Biden and Pelosi fly, Trump's house is raided. Oh, sorry, I said raid. How can you say that lockstep lemmings are working from the same script.
House Republicans Blast Nancy Pelosi's Trip to Taiwan: "PHOTO OP FOREIGN POLICY"
} MSNBC: I know Donald Trump says this is a house raid, but that's an exaggeration.
CNN: Care should be taken not to adopt the term raid.
MSNBC: This was not a raid.
CNN: Not a raid.
MSNBC: Not a raid.
MSNBC: President Trump talks about his home raid. No, man, there was no raid on your home.
MSNBC: Let's be polite and call it a search, not a raid.
MSNBC: It was not a raid on his home. The door was not kicked.
It's amazing how they all sound the same. Not a raid as the door was not kicked in. Look, look, armed, I don't think you need to kick in the door when it's already open, you bastard. sorry. Is he Butt-head or Beavis? I keep forgetting too mean. And yeah, it was just a search, not a raid.
Former President Donald Trump of New York City After his FBI raid at Mar-a-Lago's home. (Felipe Ramares / Fox News Digital)
Kind of like an Easter egg hunt. Solo scavenger hunt. It was early trick-or-treating, and they dressed up as cops. So the media cares about the language after utterly abusing it. Like Kevin Spacey in the Little League World Series. What are you moaning about? Women are no longer women, recessions are not recessions, now raids are searches.
Trump's attorneys say the FBI raid was "shocking." It's so funny to see the media trying to dismiss this as a trifle. If it happened to any of them, they would blow up like Paul Pelosi's airbags. what is he up to?
He will be leaving soon. But we'll see how they react when it inevitably happens to Hunter and Joe. They assume, like most Democrats, that they are above the law when they are in power. But have they thought ahead of time? They are not always in power. Of course, the White House claims that Joe never thought of raiding a living president. How wonderful that is! There are things he hides from Joe, such as his car keys and his ponytail. But this is kind of a big problem. I wonder what's going on in Mr. Biden's neighborhood.
Meanwhile,Hillary is funding her crimesShe is behind the Mar-a-Lago raids She sells merch and posts images of her new clothes on her Twitter account with the slogan "But Her Emails." A reference to the scandal over using her private email server for official correspondence, which she mocks. She advertised $30 hats on Monday, and every hat sold helps defend democracy, fight for our values, and hide male pattern baldness in all feminists. "But her email" is so cute why should she stop there. "But Her Emails. How about 'But Her Blue Dress,' 'But His Missing Cigar,' 'But She's Being Bombarded In Her 2016.' Finally, we know this takes up a lot of space in the hat, but "But Bill goes to Pedophile Island and Epstein gets murdered." just kidding. I make fun of your old bad bag.
Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton President The campaign Democratic National Committee funded the anti-Trump dossier through law firm Perkins Coie. (Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images) ((Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images))
Athletes over others. Say what you want about Trump. He's the exact opposite of Elite, Jay-Z and his Dr. After Dre, he was the most street-savvy billionaire of all time. And that's why they hated him. Like Kilmeade's tapeworm, they had no control over him. So we are now hearing that an FBI informant is at his house. That's pretty bad, isn't it?
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Gavin Newsom,who helped organize the kidnapping of Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer,would have been easier.Just approach him with a van full of hair gel. But it's crazy how they got to spy on a former president on the condition that he's not a Democrat. But if no crime is found, he can create one. The only problem is it will come back and haunt you. If Republicans take back the House, they should storm Biden. i can imagine it. FBI guys leaving with 15 boxes of oatmeal, denture cream and coloring books. But as Hunter Biden once said when he entered Bunny Ranch, keep playing the game, complaints.
Greg Gutfeld is currently the host of "Gutfeld" on FOX News Channel (FNC). (Weekdays at 11pm/ET) and "The Five" (Weekdays at 5pm/ET). In 2007 he joined the network as a contributor. He is the author of several books. His latest is "The Plus: Self-Help for People Who Hate Self-Help" click here For more information on Greg Gutfeld click here.