Getting the ax, the boot, the pink slip, being let go, laid off or dehired, however you spell it, being fired is one of life’s great miseries.
While in retrospect a termination can be a turning point, in the moment, it’s usually a cause for panic at best and middle finger waving, property destroying, stapler stealing fury at its most extreme.
The term “getting fired” has an interesting origin, too — a popular explanation maintains that in early civilizations if a member of society wasn’t contributing to, or was working against, the good of the collective, their neighbors would burn down their house, a not so subtle signal to hit the road, Jack.
While some among us have gotten the ax for being too hot, engaging in insider trading or because our bosses are unrepentant narcissists, some signs are more likely than others to face firing. Read on to learn more.
ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
It is physically impossible for an Aries to bite their tongue and they are in fact, infinitely more likely to bite a stranger. Poor impulse control coupled with bold opinions and the need to be first, right or at least the first to draw blood or deliver a right hook makes Aries the most combative sign the one amongst the most likely to get the proverbial ax.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)
Virgos like things to be difficult and they low-key love being underestimated, it gives them a sense of purpose and the ability to burn spite as the fuel for their next success. What they cannot and will not abide by is being unappreciated. Willing to go all in, they sometimes self-sabotage when they aren’t challenged or when they feel taken advantage of. This is a sign that will create conflict as a means of escape. This makes them likely to get fired but usually the architects of their own unmaking.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)
Generally speaking, genius doesn’t jive with subjugation. Never content to bend a knee or accept the status quo, Aquarians are born to be bosses or the brains behind an operation. Or at least that’s what they tell themselves as they clear out their cubicles, packing away their carnivorous desk plants, asteroid paperweights, collection of invisible ink pens and unmanageable superiority complexes.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Conflict averse and feelings forward, a Pisces that is dissatisfied with their career will create a scenario in which they will have to be fired. This also applies to relationships where they are more comfortable being the one that gets dumped than the one that does the dumping. All of this is done in an attempt to never, ever, be the bad guy, and in turn to never, ever be direct. Pisces is also the sign most likely to get caught up in an office romance and face firing for violating company policy about cavorting on the copy machine.
Astrology 101: Your guide to the stars
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.
