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Late Alan Rickman’s Love-Hate Relationship With ‘Harry Potter’ Franchise Detailed in Diary Excerpts: “See It Through, It’s Your Story”

Nearly seven years after his death, excerpts from Alan Rickman’s diary have been published detailing his love/hate relationship with the Harry Potter franchise, where he played Hogwarts’ potion professor Severus Snape in all eight films.

Prior to filming Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s StoneRickman wrote, “feeling about nothing about HP which really disturbs me,” per the excerpts published in The GuardianHe also noted that the author of the books, J.K. Rowling, let him in on a little secret behind his character before it had been revealed in the books — that he was in love with Harry’s mom, Lily. Speaking of the author, Rickman said, “Talking to her is talking to someone who lives these stories, not invents them.”

Following the first movie’s release, he said, “The film should only be seen on a big screen. It acquires a scale and depth that matches the hideous score by John Williams. Party afterwards at the Savoy is much more fun.”

Despite trying to quit after the second movie, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, when he wrote “no more HP,” he was ultimately convinced to stay. And in 2003, while he was filming the third installment, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Rickman opened up about what he thought about his co-star, Daniel Radcliffe, who played the titular character throughout the franchise. He said, “I still don’t think he’s really an actor but he will undoubtedly direct/produce.”

Meanwhile, his reaction to the third film was much more satisfactory than the first. He wrote that future Academy Award-winning director Alfonso Cuarón did an “extraordinary job,” adding that “it is a very grown-up movie, so full of daring that it made me smile and smile. Every frame of it is the work of an artist and storyteller. Stunning effects that are somehow part of the life of the film, not show-off stunts.”

Unfortunately, things seemed to have shifted with the fourth installment, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire when he wrote about feeling “shafted on this film.”

While there had been ups and downs, Rickman described his decision to stay during the fifth film, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, writing, “The sensation is neither up nor down. The argument that wins is the one that says: ‘See it through. It’s your story.'”

Regarding his character’s heroic death in the final book, Rickman said it was “a genuine rite of passage,” saying the bit of information Rowling gave him years before about his character “gave me a cliff edge to hang on to.”

However, the reaction to the final movie, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 was not as well-received by the actor.

“I found it unsettling to watch – it has to change horses midstream to tell the Snape story and the camera loses concentration,” he wrote. “Audience, however, very happy.”