It’s been five years since Jennifer Aydin (and her 16-bathroom mansion) were first introduced on The Real Housewives of New Jersey — and the reality star sure has made a name for herself since then. While we often see her hashing it out with costar Margaret Josephs, the currently-airing season has also given fans a closer look into her relationship with her plastic surgeon husband, Bill Aydin.
Jennifer — who has never shied away from speaking her mind — cemented herself as essential to the Bravoverse back in 2019 when she broke a wine glass during a heated argument with Melissa Gorga. While the drama on the show rarely lets up, the busy mom-of-five has taken to using her celebrity status for good as she continues to raise awareness about the Turkey-Syria earthquake that hit last month.
While speaking to DECIDER, Jennifer opened up about how people can help those who have been affected by the devastating earthquake. Plus, she dishes on where she and her husband stand today, that wild argument she had with Margaret, and whether or not she thinks the series could be as successful without Teresa Giudice.
You’ve been doing a lot of work with Turkey relief since the earthquake last month. Can you talk a bit about that? What inspired you to get involved?
My family is from Turkey and Bill was born in Turkey. He came over here when he was 16 years old. My parents were born and raised in the villages that have now been destroyed by this catastrophic earthquake. It bordered Syria and Turkey and it’s basically – kind of think about geographically where Washington D.C. is, all the way to New York — like that is the geographic area that has been affected.
People are living on the streets, they’ve lost their homes, hospitals, and anything that can go out and remotely help them. Those institutions are all broken. So they really need a lot of help and they need all the support that they can get. So I, along with the mayor of Paterson, we created the njearthquakerelief.org website, where 100% of donations will be used to purchase supplies for the earthquake victims.
A lot of people from Turkey and Syria were looking to me to be a voice. … And of course, being in the public eye, I have to be very careful as to where I put my name. So I contacted the governor’s office. They connected me with the mayor of Paterson because I wanted to have a reputable place to be able to promote and really, like, stand behind – put my name on – and ask for monetary donations. Like at this point, it’s a call to action. They need supplies. They don’t need your old clothing. Thank you very much, but that’s not what they need. They need heat and shelter and food, propane-fueled heaters and nonperishable foods and sleeping bags and blankets and tents. And that’s what we’ve been using the money to purchase.
How can people get involved?
Follow me on social media, and I periodically put on updates and links as to how you could donate. You can go to njearthquakerelief.org. Every little bit helps. You don’t have to donate a huge amount of money. $50, $10 gets them a sleeping bag. $150 gets them a tent with flooring. This is a substantial tent where they can live for a good amount of months because this is going to be a very long journey for them.
People aren’t even talking about it on the news anymore. Unfortunately, time passes and things become old news but these people are living in it now and it is not going to be over in just a matter of weeks. So we have to keep momentum going and periodically ask for donations. We’ve already raised over $30,000 which is amazing and I’m so grateful for, but it’s not enough. It’s not enough for the vast amount of people who have been affected.
Do you still have family there?
I do have family there. They’re mostly in Istanbul, which was not affected. The Southeastern parts of Turkey where it borders Syria. Like I said, the villages where my parents were from – there has been affected so my immediate family is fine. But for them, they’re also looking at me to be a voice. They’re like, “You’re a celebrity in America. America has a lot of money, like maybe they can help some of the victims that have been suffering.” So I’m just trying to pay it forward and do the right thing.
And for everybody who’s wondering, yes, I donated. I’ve donated a lot. I can’t save everybody. We’re not Kardashian-style here. Maybe one day, but not right now. So I need everybody to help. I can’t save everybody.
Shifting gears to talk a bit about RHONJ — in this season, we see you and Bill getting super real about your relationship. How are you guys doing now?
Bill and I, I will say at this point in time are absolutely amazing. I don’t know what happened but the love bubble shifted. And me and Bill are in it. And we are spending more time together. He’s helping me a lot more with the kids. He’s more conscious of the way that he criticizes me or what he likes to call “advice.” We’re in a very good place now. We did not continue with therapy. Honestly, like, one therapy session really was enough for him to kind of open his eyes and take a step back.
To have a successful marriage, both parties always need to keep trying. Because when one stops trying, there’s only so much that one person can do to keep you both afloat and it doesn’t always work. So Bill acknowledged that there’s something that he needs to work on. He acknowledged that it’s important to me, so it should be important to him. And like, we’re great.
And listen, like, couples go through things. We’ve been together 20 years and couples go through ups and downs. You cannot take a struggle that someone is going through and equate that to the destruction of the marriage. I mean, if I didn’t divorce him when he cheated on me, I’m definitely not going to divorce him just because we’re having a disagreement about how we raise our kids. We are both committed to the commitment. And I think that’s the most important thing in a marriage.
Happiness is what you make of it. I choose to be happy. I know I have a wonderful man, a good man, a prince charming in every sense of the word, you know, aside from a hiccup here and there, which happens in every marriage – whatever that hiccup has to be. People try to find a way to go through it and it’s for better or for worse. Those are the vows that we take.
It’s not just, like, good until the going gets rough. That’s not what we signed up for. I think it takes a lot more to stay in a marriage and work through your struggles. I’m so glad we didn’t make a rash decision and end something. Because you know what? You’re just trading in one for another set of problems. And I’d rather stay with this guy because he’s the father of my children – he gave me five – and he’s done a pretty good job with giving me a fantastic life. So I’m very grateful for that.
You mentioned that Bill was against therapy for a while. How were you able to convince him to film your first therapy session?
I told him that I wanted him to do it. And it really wasn’t a question. It was, “This is what I need. This is what I need in order to feel that you are trying. Just give it a try. Give it a try. And if you don’t like it, then at least we can always say, ‘Well, you know what? At least we tried.’” And he did and we left there and he made some changes. So I was like, you know what? We’re good. We’re not gonna sit here and get fixated. We have a slew of problems and I don’t need to go backwards and hash up things that I’ve already moved forward from.
It’s heartbreaking to hear Olivia ask if all men cheat and say she wants to be a love therapist. Did you have any reservations about continuing to air the hardships of your relationship on TV because of that?
At that point, I don’t think I had a choice. The choice was made for me from someone else on my cast. And I had to own up to it. I’ve heard through the grapevine like, “I should have sheltered her more. I shouldn’t have let her hear what was going on.” I actually did that. She didn’t know what was going on and she was sheltered and it wasn’t until it became public that I had to own up to it and be honest with my kids. I’m not going to sit there and tell her that it’s all fake and it’s not true. And then have somebody bring it up to her at school, putting her in a situation where she’s gonna be like, “That’s not true.” And actually, she’s the one that’s going to be made to look like the person who’s the last to know. I’m not gonna do that to my kids.
I was honest with her, and I just told her that, “Listen, when you love somebody, you forgive them.” You assess what it is. Everybody deserves a second chance. And when they’re family – it’s a third chance and a fourth chance. As long as there’s no abuse or someone taking advantage of somebody’s trust, then I think it’s worth it to keep the fight going.
At the end of the day, she just wants to see her parents happy, which is why it was so heartbreaking for me to hear that she wanted to be a love therapist, because if you know Olivia, if you’ve ever watched my stories, all she does is sing and dance, usually in her nightgowns. And she loves Broadway shows, she watches them on Netflix. I love seeing that part about her. So I’m not going to sit there and say, “Well, didn’t you want to be a love therapist?” No, I’m hoping she forgets about this love therapist. I hope it’s just a chapter in our lives that she’ll eventually work through and then come back to what she really loves to do.
You and Margaret have had a rocky relationship, to say the least. How do you know when it’s the time to walk away or the time to fight back as we saw a couple episodes ago?
I kind of feel like I always fight back. Keyword being “back.” I don’t start. I defend myself and sometimes I finish. But I don’t start. I do fight back and I defend myself and I encourage everybody to always stand their ground and live in their truth. So that’s who I’m going to continue to be. I don’t start but if I’m going to be attacked, I will defend myself and sometimes make you look bad doing it. So don’t start none, won’t be none.
A lot of fans rallied around you after she called you a “disheveled little drug addict.” Do you have any regrets about anything you said to her?
Absolutely not. It got rough. She doesn’t regret saying anything to me. Everything she got, she deserved and I feel that she feels the same way. What I will say to that is everybody’s entitled to an opinion, even when they’re wrong.
Do we see you two come to a resolution during this season? Where do you stand now?
Where you saw us is kind of how we left off. There are some instances where it’s, like, fun, which I’m excited to see because for me, like the fans, I enjoy it more when I see us all getting along. It’s nicer. It’s more fun. It’s more enjoyable. So I’m hoping that that’s going to trickle in. I know at the end of the day, we always have reunion, right? And that’s where we will hash it out.
There have been a lot of rumors that Melissa is going to leave the show and a lot of people are saying that the show needs both Melissa and Teresa together. Do you think it can continue to be as successful without one or the other?
At the end of the day, I leave it to the big boys over the network to decide who’s going to go forward or not. We are an ensemble cast. We need a team at the end of the day – as much as it could be the Teresa show. It’s not going to work without Teresa, I don’t think. Teresa needs to stay. I mean, who knows? At the end of the day, that’s what reunion is for. And that’s when the big guys will make the decision but I really don’t know.
At the end of the day, they’re family and it’s a tough situation. And I’ve found that every time I do comment on it, people think that I’m instigating, so I think it’s just best if I don’t get involved with this point.
What was your first reaction to Teresa’s internet-breaking wedding hair and gown?
I loved her hair. I thought she looked magnificent. I was there in person with her. It definitely made a statement but she’s become a Halloween costume. So I think we can call it iconic. You know, only Teresa Queen of New Jersey could even carry hair and a dress like that. It was all extra and with everything it was supposed to be and then some so I can’t wait for you guys to see it.
I was a bridesmaid. I love being a bridesmaid. I was asked late and it did not bother me whatsoever. I was like, “Better late than never,” type of thing. And Dolores and I were bridesmaids and it was so much fun and we’re just so happy to be part of her special day that’ll always be a memory for her for the rest of her life.
Out of the three newbies – Jennifer Fessler, Danielle Cabral and Rachel Fuda – who do you think has what it takes to stick around for the long run?
Definitely Danielle. I don’t know about you guys, but I get excited every time I see her on my screen. I love everything she has to say. She’s definitely Jersey-licious, extra, and I think that’s wonderful. I love that she has little kids. Jen Fessler is a hoot and a half for real. Just watching her order is entertaining. So I’m happy for those two.
I will say that for Rachel Fuda, I was very personally moved by her personal storyline. As a mother, you never want to feel, at least through sympathy, the loss of a child. So that was really moving to me and I think Rachel Fuda has a wonderful personal storyline. And it’s great to see new moms with young kids. I kind of live vicariously through that and say, “Oh my god, I remember those days.” And I so don’t wish it back.
I loved it when I was in the zone and I recommend everybody to go through it at least once, twice. I did it five times. But I do not miss those days. I mean the freedom that I have now – and it’s relative to freedom – but the way that I get a good night’s sleep now, like a full night’s sleep without having to wake up a million times is just such a godsend. Sometimes it’s the little things.
Jackie and Danielle definitely got off on the wrong foot. Do you think Jackie is wrong for speculating about what “really happened” with Danielle’s family drama?
Well, if anyone could speculate, I feel like it would be Jackie because Jackie doesn’t talk to one of her siblings. I just find it hypocritical for her to talk about such things when she wasn’t even telling us what her sister’s name is. I mean, I still don’t even know anything about her sister. Like, her sister came and went. And nobody knows nothing. Nobody knows why. They had this big falling out and Jackie doesn’t want to be forthright or transparent by telling everybody what the reason is so she thinks there’s an underlying reason [with Danielle and her brother]. Maybe it’s because it’s based on her own experience? I just think that if you’re going to have something to say then complete the sentence.
Is there anything else you can tease for the rest of the season?
We definitely have a very fun wedding in our future. You’re gonna see a lot of pomp and circumstance and people were walking on stilts. And acrobats. So for me, the highlight of the season is going to be Teresa’s wedding. For me, I’m trying to focus on the positive and that was the highlight and it was like, basically, you finally see her get her happy ending, which I think the fans are really going to be in for a treat with that.
This interview has been edited for clarity and length.
